Our beautiful girl is growing so fast! She is four months old today. As she grows and learns more and more I think about all the things I want her to learn. First and foremost I want her to know Jesus. I want her to do more than just know Him - I want her to have a deep and consuming passion for Him. I pray this for her every night. I want her to know that even when she makes mistakes that she is so loved by me and Ryan and that she can always come to us. I want her to know that her looks do not define her, that she is strong and intelligent. I want her to know if she really puts her mind to something, she can most likely accomplish it...but that she should always seek God's will in the process. There is so much more! I want her to fight for what she believes in, to find true love, to not be satisfied with apathy, to not make the same mistakes I did. I know that is why we are here, to teach her these things. I pray we will be successful with God's enabling.
Being a mother is the job which has hands-down brought me the most joy; it is also the hardest job I've ever had. I think I have things figured out, then something happens that throws me for a loop. Naps go well, then they go bad and I think, "What am I doing? What should I be doing?" Any mom who's had nap problems with an infant knows it can almost seem like a battle of wills, even if Baby's not doing it on purpose. We are concerned with our little one's sleep needs, knowing how much it helps their little brains grow. Zooey doesn't eat well and I question my milk supply and hope she's getting enough to eat. Many times, my sweet husband and my mom will help me overcome my "first time mommy worries" in a very patient calm manner. I realize that this is the beginning of many worries, many prayers that I'm doing the right things and the realization that I would give anything for her to have what she needs. Although I often wish that Zooey came with an instruction manual, I am very thankful that God started me off with small problems. :) And of course, I am thankful for the Manual, the Bible, to guide me through the really tough stuff. In addition to questioning yourself as a parent, there are always people who are going to say something at some point that may make you question the job you're doing even further. It's hard to brush it off sometimes, but I'm learning more and more that this is where I just have to let things go and trust myself and Ryan with the way we've decided to do things. And more and more I know that I will try everything in my power to never say those "I can't believe she ____" about any other mother unless what they're doing is seriously detrimental.
Being a mother has made me so thankful for my mother. It really brings tears to my eyes sometimes when I think about it. A mother is sacrificial in so many ways, the love is so unfathomable before you have children. I get that now. It brings a new level of respect and love to my heart for my mom.
Zooey is doing well, albeit a few bumps in the road this last week - which is pretty normal for four months, from what I've read. :) She's learning all kinds of new skills! She now passes things from one hand back to the other, noms on everything she can get in her mouth, laughs out loud (which is THE BEST!), rolls over more - and not just when she's angry about being on her tummy, sits better assisted, has added some consonants (b, d) to her ever-expanding baby babble, follows people across the room and she can now "find" certain things, like her links, when we ask her where they are. I'm sure I'm missing some things that she's learning, but these are the ones that have really stood out to me this past month. I am excited for her and just watching her do all these new things and can't wait to see what the future holds. We are going on our first airplane trip to see Jenni next week. It's just me and Zooey! I'm sure it will be a blast. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment