What's normal?

Life seems "back to normal" with the Cancer situation. Mom's back at work. She looks healthy, once again. Will things ever really be back to normal though? Will we all be waiting for the call after a scan - the call that says "the cancer's back"? It's extra hard, I think, in Mom's case, because of the sarcoidosis. Stupid things won't ever let them see if they even got it all. They'll be able to do comparison scans with what they've done and will do to see if there are any changes, but since the sarcoids look dark on the scan just like cancer, they'll never really be able to tell if they got it all. Ugh. It's scary. I find myself praying at night, "Please don't let her die, God. Please don't let her die." Of course, I seek God's will for her. Selfishly, though? I just want her here. I cannot imagine it. I don't let my mind go there. I read the statistics for lung cancer funding, and it makes me sick. Things like "The underfunding of lung cancer has kept its survival rate as low as it was in 1971." " 53% of lung cancer in women is not attributed to smoking." "Lung cancer is the leading cause of all cancer deaths for both men and women, accounting for 30% of all cancer deaths." I don't really know what the point of this post was...to vent, maybe? To ask for your prayers? Probably. I just continue to pray that it's gone and that we will never see it again.

Zooey is 9 months old today!

How fast nine months goes! In 9 months, I went from this:

(14 weeks pregnant)

to this:



and got this sweet girl:


who now, 9 months later, looks like this:

::"Memories" plays softly in the background::
:)

Pretty amazing at how time flies.

Zooey's new skills include:

pulling herself to standing

fine-tuning her pincer grasp and becoming a pro at finger foods

I don't know if this is really a skill...but she throws herself forward like she wants to crawl then squirms around on her tummy before getting real irritated and rolling over. If it's not a new skill, it's still pretty cute! She also hoists herself over our legs on her tummy.

says "boo" when she sees her books; "ba" when she sees or is playing with a ball; "mama" when she gets really upset - and looks right at me and reaches

Zooey LOVES:

books

standing, holding onto our fingers

baths in the big tub

yogurt melts

cheese

independent playtime

grabbing necklaces

our new dog Tiny

tickles

a big red bouncy ball

animals

Zooey hates:

diaper changes

...not much else. She's pretty easygoing.

Time with Zooey is so sweet. Sometimes I think about how, when you're going through something really hard, that time seems to drag on forever. It's awful. You feel like you'll never pull through it. But when you're going through something wonderful, like motherhood, like enjoying my baby's short, sweet, amazing babyhood, time flies by at a warp speed and you try with all you can to hold onto it. Tonight, I walked into the nursery to take a quick peek at Zooey, fast asleep, before I turned in. I had to catch my breath at how big she is! She was, only nine short months ago, this little tiny peanut in the very middle of her crib, and now her arms stretch and she touches one of the sides. She is so tall in pictures, and when she was propped up next to another baby her age at the park, I was shocked that she was actually taller. It was as if some weird thing in my head wasn't allowing me to see her as that big. :) I peered at her across the room at a party, and I noticed, with pride welling up inside me, her beautiful smile, her happy personality. She's growing into such a little cutie, and it is my privilege to be her mom. Every day brings something new (to both of us!), every day I am humbled, every day I love her more and am astonished at the blessing God has bestowed on us in her. I am so excited to see what the next months hold - crawling, walking, running, talking, playing new games, reading, learning...so much to look forward to.