39 week update

Strange to think this could be my last update! Or at the very least, one of my last updates. :)

How far along? 39 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: +33 lbs. – I gained some fluid this week.
Maternity clothes: Yup
Stretch marks? Nope
Sleep: Still good; just interrupted by bathroom breaks
Best moment this week: Realizing today that no matter what our baby will be here in 3 weeks
Movement: Slowed down a little bit. I think she’s cramped; I just feel lots of stretching movements. Also, she’s so low now that there are moments I jump due to painful movement. Still always just so thankful for all the movement!
Food cravings: Green chile – yum!
Gender: Girl
Labor signs: The practice contractions are getting stronger & longer; lost the rest of the ol’ mucous plug over the weekend.
Belly button in or out? In
What I miss: Wearing my wedding rings
What I am looking forward to: Meeting the baby!
Weekly Wisdom: Enjoy the rest you can get while you can. Don’t stretch too suddenly in the middle of the night, or your round ligament just might snap right out of your stomach and cause you excruciating pain.
Milestones: More labor progression. I feel like it’s kind of “sit & wait” at this point. I have an appointment in the morning, so we’ll see if I’ve progressed any.

God's timing

Wouldn't it be neat/blessing/weird/cool if the baby came on September 29th? For those of you who know me, you'll know that 5 years ago on September 29th I had a pretty big shock of heartache. Although I look back at this heartache in my life and realize God had an amazing purpose in mind for my life (stronger faith, full reliance on Him, Ryan, becoming more self-sufficient), cognitively in September and early October every year I face a small bout of depression. This year has been different, of course, because I have so much to look forward to. God has really brought it to my mind in the last few days that, even if baby's arrival date is not Sept. 29th, He is really bringing this verse full circle in my life this year through a new closeness in my marriage and through the exciting expectency of our daughter's arrival: "I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten - the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm - my great army that I sent among you. You will have plenty to eat, until you are full, and you will praise the name of the LORD your God, who has worked wonders for you; never again will my people be shamed." Joel 2:25-26. Praise the Lord for the intimate way He works in our lives, the details He never forgets, His tender and compassion to hear, see, remember and be concerned and bless us, mere humans.

Just left the doctor. I'm 3cm dilated & 75% effaced. She stripped my membranes. She's on call tonight; we'll see what happens! :)

38 week update

How far along? 38 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: -1.3 lbs. last week/+30.5 overall
Maternity clothes: Absolutely.
Stretch marks? Nope.
Sleep: Still ok; just interrupted by painful turning & going to the bathroom.
Best moment this week: Being told last Thursday my body’s progressing. Also, having a lazy weekend, since most of our home stuff is done.
Movement: Still a lot of it; stronger, and more pokes & stretching, less kicks.
Food cravings: Nothing really; actually have a decreased appetite.
Gender: Little girl.
Labor signs: False labor pains (apparently these are different than Braxton Hicks); Last check was 2.5-3cm dilated & 50% effaced.
Belly button in or out? In.
What I miss: Not having to pee every time I stand up.
What I am looking forward to: Meeting our baby very soon!
Weekly Wisdom: Always have a snack handy. I’ve found at this stage when I am hungry, I get to that “weird” feeling a lot sooner. Also, a sweet friend’s comment on my blog made me really step back & become a bit more patient about baby’s arrival when I read it. She said, “Amazing to think that all her days are already written in the book of life! Hang in there…” My baby truly is God’s child, and He has in mind the perfect moment for her to arrive!
Milestones: Just more progress at the doctor’s office. I go again tomorrow, so we’ll see if there’s any news.

And...some weird moments this week that prove one author's point that strangers seem to lose all personal boundaries around pregnant women:

...Someone went to touch my belly at work today and rubbed precariously close to my boobs to see if baby had dropped. I guess my word wasn't good enough??

...I have literally gotten at least 6 comments/questions from different people each day about "no baby," "still being pregnant" or what kind of labor signs I'm having.

...People saying I'll either have my baby on the new moon (Sunday) or the full moon (sometime in Oct.). Where do people get this stuff?

I am not a patient person

For some, this may be a shock. For those who know me well, they are nodding their heads in agreement and saying something to the effect of, "No kidding, not you!" I am ready for the baby to come. As long as she is healthy & developed, I am ready, and according to my doctor, she is. I am trying very hard not to get to expectant and just relax. I walked to Starbucks yesterday at work. I walked for almost 30 minutes (briskly) today. Ryan & I are going to walk some more when he gets home from work. From all the women I know who've had more than one (or some who have lived many years and known many women have kids), walking is the ticket to labor progression. However - sigh - I am not naive and am aware that she will be born on the day and at the time God has alloted for her. And - here I go repeating my mantra once again - I cannot control this. I would simply like to convey that Ryan & I are both really really ready to meet our little girl.

I just left the doctor's and am 2.5-3cm dilated & 50% effaced! She's on-call this weekend, so it would be cool if I delivered. :) We shall see...

37 Week Update

I was going to try to stay in my work clothes to look cute for what is one of my last belly pic's, but I got uncomfortable and changed. :)

Vote in the poll on the left – I’d like to know what you think. Plus, it’s kind of a fun way to bet without really betting. :)

How far along? 37 weeks (21 days to go until my due date!…but I don’t think she’ll be in there that long)
Total weight gain? +31.5 lbs. – Yay! I have stayed within the 25-35/no more than 40 lb. gain that was my goal!
Maternity clothes? Yes, and my shirts are getting tight and short.
Stretch marks? No (thanks, Mom!) :)
Sleep? Not super great but not horrible. Mostly interrupted by bathroom breaks. I believe this is God’s preparation for midnight feedings.
Best moment this week? Completely finishing the nursery & putting together all baby stuff.
Movement: Still a lot, but she’s getting kind of smooshed in there, so it feels different – more jabs & stretches than constant kicks.
Food cravings: Sonic slushes, Blakes, grilled cheese sandwiches, lots of milk
Gender: Girl!
Labor signs: I will find out tomorrow if I’m any more dilated or if I’ve effaced any. As far as I know, I’m 1cm & the Braxton Hicks are getting stronger & happening more often. Baby feels SUPER low in the pelvis! Been losing the mucous plug in little pieces.
Belly button in or out?: In (thank you, Lord, for that little bit of kindness). Again, I hate belly buttons…they give me the heeby jeebies!
What I miss: Wearing my wedding rings.
What I am looking forward to: Meeting and holding our little girl.
Weekly wisdom: Rest and take naps as needed!
Milestones: I’m full-term today! Woo-hoo!!

The nursery's done. Her stuff's put away. Swing is assembled. Now we wait...c'mon Baby!!

Ambivalent Feelings Have Kicked in Big Time

These are my thoughts this week:

• It will not just be me & Ryan anymore - we must savor these last moments together as just a couple. No more quiet evenings, no more lazy Sundays, no more getting up and going wherever we'd please...
• I can't wait to share in the new kind of bonding that having a child together brings, and I'm so glad I have Ryan to do parenting with. He truly is the best gift God has given me in my life.
• BSF started this morning, and yesterday I realized how close we are to pretty much NEVER sleeping in until our children enter high school and desire themselves to have coma-like sleep that lasts 10 hours a night - and by that time, we'll be older, so we probably can't or won't want to sleep in.
• I am looking forward to bonding with my baby over middle of the night & early morning feedings.
• Love her to death, but the reality of staying home with my grandma and a baby all day has hit me. Boundaries, compassion, and love. Boundaries, compassion, and love....
• I am thankful for the added help around the house; it will subtract stress just to have some help with the dishes. This baby is going to have so much love!
• I'm not going to look the same as I did before I got pregnant. I'm going to be wearing pants which I worked 6 months to get out of two years ago.
• More motivation to work extra hard to lose the weight. So glad I made fitness & nutrition a part of my life before I got pregnant. So thankful for mom & dad and their offer to help watch baby while I work out, even if I just run on their treadmill. A lot of people don't have so many so close who will offer to babysit.
• I want to be a mom so bad! But am I ready to be a mom? Are we ready to be parents? Will I do a good job? How will I know what she needs, what to do, how to do it?
• Children are a gift from God, and He has this part of my life mapped out on His roadmap. He wouldn't give me such a precious responsibility if I wasn't ready for it. His timing is perfect. He will provide. He has given millions of parents the skills they need to do this.
• Will I be able to stay home?
• I just have to leave this in God's hands and until I hear otherwise, stick with our mantra "we will make it happen."
• Will I be able to manage a home, care for my baby, care for my grandma, maintain a close marriage, maintain social connections, get back into shape?
• God only gives us what we can handle; putting Him first will help me align my other priorities.
• Holy crap, these Braxton Hicks contractions are starting to hurt a bit. Labor is going to hurt. Delivery will hopefully not hurt due to a lovely epidural, but recovery is going to be painful.
• I am prepared as I am going to be. I can do this. Ryan will be with me to help, and thank God for modern medicine.
• My boobs are soon going to be used for food mechanisms, and it is going to be hard. And painful.
• I am so glad I have the training & support today that women in the past did not really receive, and I'm excited to bond with my baby and to offer her the world's most nutritious baby food.
• My house is still not ready for a baby!
• It's pretty ready, and it'll be ok if it happens today.
• I hope my water doesn't break at work!
• Oh, well, what can I do?
• I'm going to cherish these last few days/weeks of pregnancy, because they truly are a gift from the Lord. This could be the only time this happens to me in my whole life, and as excited as I am to meet the baby, I am relishing in this gift.

36 Week Update

Picture to be posted tomorrow...hopefully. :) I got home late tonight and didn't get a picture done.

How far along? 36 weeks, 2 days
Total weight gain/loss: +30 lbs. (lost 1 lb. being sick)
Maternity clothes: Yup; shirts are getting short.
Stretch marks? Nope.
Sleep: Pretty good this week, maybe because I’m exhausted. Crazy dreams.
Best moment this week: Getting over the flu! Pregnancy-wise it was the reassurance Baby was OK by her constant movement and the fetal monitoring during the flu.
Movement: Lots, especially around 9:00 at night. I’m sure this bodes well for her life outside the womb…
Food cravings: Nothing this week, really.
Gender: Girl!
Labor signs: Stronger Braxton Hicks, and I found out at my appointment today that I’m 1 cm dilated, baby’s head’s really low & definitely losing the mucous plug.
Belly button in or out? In.
What I miss: Nothing; just relishing my final time being pregnant and getting excited for her arrival.
What I am looking forward to: Meeting the baby!
Weekly Wisdom: Be patient with yourself and let yourself adapt to your baby – no one knows what to do when they first bring home a baby.
Milestones: I’m dilated! I know it can still be quite awhile, but it’s still progress.

Crazy Dream & Random Thoughts

I had a dream last night that I went into labor, but Ryan didn't believe me. It was the middle of the night, and he would not get up to take me to the hospital. I didn't want to leave without him (obviously), and I was so upset. For some reason all of the sudden I knew the baby was crowning, but then I woke up to go to the bathroom. Weird, huh?

She is super low in there. When she starts wiggling her little arms about, it places some serious pressure on my poor bladder. I love her so much! I love interacting with her when she's moving around; I can't imagine how much I'm going to love her when she's actually here. I already think about all the things we're going to do together. I also worry that I'm going to be a good mom. I know all I can do is pray that God will lead me on the right path of parenting. I am so excited to tell my child about Jesus' love!

"Teach (God's commands) to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." - Deut. 11:19

My heart is once again heavy this morning in worry about Ryan's job situation and my incredibly deep desire to be able to stay home with my baby (& any future children). It is so hard for me not to give into the anxiety and trust the Lord in this, but I know it is what I must do. So many verses come to mind to calm my anxious heart; sometimes that human nature in me just wants to cling to my worry and try to control the situation myself, which I know is the world's largest impossibility. I must trust, I must remember all the Lord has done for me in my life, and I must pray and know others are praying alongside us for this situation.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding." - Prov. 3:5
"In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From His temple He heard my voice; my cry came before Him, into His ears." - Ps. 18:6

UGH

I was looking forward to finishing up my baby shopping and having not just one, but two, days off with Ryan when BAM! I got a horrible stomach bug before work on Saturday, left work early, spent the whole day sick and finally spent the night at the hospital getting IV fluids when the on-call doctor said I should really go in. I finally feel like I have somewhat of an appetite back but am exhausted from the whole ordeal; I actually think I may stay home again tomorrow to rest. I was having some contractions (mostly the tightening kind not the "real" kind according to the nurse), but they slowed way down after they pumped me full of 3 liters of fluids. So aside from being tired and wishing I could eat real food, mom & baby are doing fine; she's still in there...lower than ever, and I believe I'm starting to lose my mucous plug (I know, maybe TMI - but remember folks, this is my journal of sorts, too). :) I guess we'll find out for sure at my appointment on Thursday.

35 week update

Well, folks, the votes are in. After numerous comments at work this week and after my sister showing my picture to some nurses at work (and after the increasing pressure on my pelvic bones, hips and bladder), it’s official – I’ve dropped. I can’t decide if I would rather feel all this pressure when I get up and walk or if I’d rather have the heartburn I had last week. I guess the pressure, because the nausea I was attributing to morning sickness also seems to be gone this week. It’s funny how you can’t fully believe something until you truly experience it yourself. Like how in my childbirth class, the instructor said, “You think you have to pee now? Wait until you drop.” I thought to myself, “I doubt it will get any worse.” HA! Foolish, naïve Amber! Now, all I have to do is stand up and – plop – the baby’s head is on my bladder & I have to go. I am also back to taking my naps at lunch and sometimes when I get home from work like I was in the first trimester. I think pregnancy exhaustion is actually in part preparation from God for having a newborn. Same with middle of the night bathroom breaks. J All discomforts aside, I still love being pregnant and am cherishing the gift that it is. I have mentioned before that I keep thinking Baby’s going to come early – I’ve thought it throughout the entire pregnancy. Now, whether or not this is my Type-A-self trying to control the situation to be as prepared as possible or whether my intuition is actually on target I won’t know until she actually comes. I can add, however, that now that she’s dropped and I’ve been told women deliver 2-4 weeks after dropping, I’m thinking it even more. My sister also thinks I’m going to deliver early, and like she says, if she’s going to be gigantic, maybe it would be better if she did come a little early (at least for the labor & delivery). J Of course, I could be way off base & go past 40 weeks, too. Yikes. I am so excited to meet her! I am so excited to see Ryan as a daddy; I know he’s going to do a great job. I am just excited all around for this next step in our lives together.

Here is my 35 week picture:

How far along: 35 weeks (35 days to go until the due date!)
Weight gain: 31 lbs.
Maternity clothes: Yes, and the shirts are getting mighty tight & a little short
Stretch marks: Nope
Sleep: Wish I could get more of it
Best moment this week: Having 1 random stranger & 2 people I know tell me I’m “all baby,” look beautiful & look like I haven’t gained that much weight other than the belly.
Movement: Lots of jabs & kicks. I’m starting to feel little angular jabs or drags across my belly, which I’m thinking are elbows & knees. Oh, wow! Last night I ate a spicy dinner, and she went CRAZY for about an hour afterwards, including hiccups.
Food cravings: Nips candies, Dr. Pepper
Gender: Girl
Labor signs: Baby dropping, Braxton Hicks contractions
What I miss: Waking up in the morning and not wanting to crawl immediately back into bed from exhaustion
What I’m looking forward to: My work shower on Thursday, my maternity photos on Sunday & getting the house finished this weekend (3-day weekend WOOHOO!)
Weekly Wisdom: In our baby care basics class last night, she had the class discuss with their partners some things about postpartum life and how to prepare for it. It was nice be able to discuss things with Ryan on how we can make life easier, like sleep when the baby sleeps (duh), take turns eating dinner if the baby’s fussy & needs to be held so we can both get a chance to feed ourselves, too, figure out how we can mitigate common disagreements which may escalate once the baby arrives, make a “bliss list” of things we’ll need and how often & how we can accomplish that (ie: have date nights at least twice a month, work out, have decompression time after work). I am also really taking to heart the advice everyone’s been giving me: to cherish every moment with our child; she is a gift from God, and time will move so fast.
Milestones: Baby’s dropping!