I just want to make it stop!

I have been puking since yesterday at 3pm. :( It's a nasty stomach virus, and it's got me all worried about the baby - worried about dehydration, worried about nutrients. I called my doctor back this morning per her instructions (it's been going on longer than 12 hours). All I can (hopefully) get & keep down right now is water, although I'm feeling nauseous again, so we'll see... Anyone who knows me knows this is like the worse for me and that I absolutely HATE throwing up. :( I'm just praying the little baby will be just fine. I couldn't get the heartbeat on my at home doppler last week, because it may've been too early. I think I'm going to go give it another shot.

...And MY Heart Beats In Love

We heard the baby's heartbeat at the doctor on Wednesday. That little galloping noise was one of the best things I have ever heard in my life! Ryan & I were grinning from ear to ear. It was funny: she found the heartbeat almost immediately, then we heard him/her kick (it sounded like these little "bloops") then s/he hid, so the doctor had to find it again. It was a strong heart beat of 160bpm, which she said is perfect. It made the pregnancy seem more "real" to me, and I am amazed at how intricately God works. To carry one of His children is truly a blessing. I am 11 weeks 3 days preganant today. Depending on what site or reference you use, I either enter my second trimester on April 1st or April 4th. I am going with April 4th. I am very excited to tell the BSF ladies at our next fellowship on that day. And the following week, I'm going to tell people at work. I am continuing to pray for perfect growth and development and protection from miscarriage. I have said it a hundred times: this baby is God's baby, and his/her life is in God's hands. Even though I am still anxious, I trust Him fully. Ryan is out of town right now, so I admit that I am a little more on edge than usual.

I can now feel my uterus above my pelvic bone. I thought my morning sickness was gone, but it came back pretty strong today to the point I thought I was going to throw up in the car driving home. Wouldn't that have been pretty? :) I have also noticed the last few days that heartburn is starting. I keep praying and hoping that my pregnancy is unlike my mom's in the fact that she threw up every day for six months, and her morning sickness didn't start until the end of the firs tri! Yikes!

Well...it's 10:33, and it's an hour past my bedtime. Off to sleep I go.

It's been awhile, so an update

I was thinking this morning about how good God is. When I went off birth control, I prayed daily that He would allow me to, if it was His will, get pregnant right away, protect me from horrible cramps if I didn’t (I used to throw up from the pain), and protect me from hormonal migraines. Of course I prayed, and still pray, that if it’s His will, He will protect me from miscarriage. As I have expressed before, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that His plan is best – both for me and for Baby. I was just thinking how sweet it was of Him to allow me the gift of carrying one of His children this far and for Him to let it happen so quickly, especially when my heart breaks for the women who must wait. A woman at work recently went in for polyp surgery; they were going to try to just remove the polyps from her uterus, but when they got in there, they had to give her a complete hysterectomy. She and her husband had been trying to get pregnant for ten years. I pray that the Lord would comfort her. I think of a sweet friend of mine who has lost two precious babies, and I grieve with her in her losses and her struggle to get pregnant. Her walk with God has deepened immensely, and her faith radiates from her. I realize that I do not deserve this gift – just the opportunity – that we’ve been given, and this week I have been truly, deeply thankful for it.

I am still nervous with three weeks to go until the end of the first trimester. However, I am trying very hard not to approach life with the mindset of “waiting for the other shoe to drop.” We get to hear the heartbeat in just 5 days – next Wednesday, and I keep praying God will show us a strong heartbeat on that monitor. Updates to come…