As I sit down to type this, I have so many emotions going through me that it is hard to know exactly where I'm at. Depression, Anger...still some Denial, and even I have to ask myself, how is that possible? Hospice is now coming daily to visit my mom. She is sleeping most of the time; thank God that He offered a new course of treatment for the nausea and diarrhea that were not leting her rest for several days earlier this week. She doesn't wake too much, and when she does she is often confused. In her lucid moments she is saying what needs to be said about her love, concerns and her past. It is so hard to see her down this path, but I also feel very blessed that I get to walk along side her, to tell her how much I love her and to be able to comfort her and provide things for her - a back rub, a drink. She hasn't eaten in several days, but she is still drinking. Elizabeth, her nurse, said yesterday that my mom is at the few weeks mark, meaning she could go anywhere from 1-3 weeks.

On Monday (can it be that it was only Monday? that conversation feels like it was 2 weeks ago!), Elizabeth told us to be sure to tell her it is ok to go when it's time and that we will miss her but will be alright. We've all told her this, even my grandma, who my mom is very concerned about. It was very hard for my dad to tell her that. When we asked him if he was going to tell her, he broke down crying and said how can he tell her that when he's never going to be ok? It breaks my heart to see him and my sister in pain. I think it helped her for us to tell her that, though. It was at that point she opened up to us about how ready she is to go Home.

A dear friend told me yesterday about how her friend has been a Hospice nurse for a long time. My friend's best friend of 25 years died several months ago of cancer, and the nurse told her that in all her years of being a hospice nurse, there's one thing she is certain of and that is when someone knows Christ that He is completing a Holy work in them right up to the end. She said that she's never seen a moment wasted, and although she doesn't understand it, she's seen it many times. She said that Christians can be assured that not a moment of their life is wasted; He is completing His work in them right up to the moment He is ready to bring them home to Glory. This really comforted me, and I believe it 100%.

If you are praying for my mom, please pray the following:

~Her one request is that He would take her soon and quickly.

~God would keep the nausea/GI problems away and that He would let her be in comfort and in as little pain as possible.

~God would wrap His loving arms around her and let her feel His presence.
~He would protect her and our family from opposition.

~He would comfort our family.

~He would protect our health.