Remission

My mom had a PET scan about 2 weeks ago, and she met with her oncologist on Wednesday to go over the results. The doctor said the scans look as good as she'd like to see them, and she'd consider my mom in remission. Praise God! This is just such an awesome blessing. Here is a copy of the update she wanted sent out:

"I went to see my oncologist today to get the results of my PET scan. She was very happy and said the results were very good! The mass is the lung is almost completely resolved. She said there was no cancer in the lung. I do have some pleural thickening in the lower left lobe. We have already discussed this and I can feel it, so that was no surprise. The lymph nodes are still enlarged and calcified and is most likely due to the sarcoidosis.She said I was given the best treatment for my condition and she is very optimistic given my unusual situation. Then she told me that I was in remission. Yay! I am very happy with this report and I praise God for helping me each and every step along this difficult road. I will return for another PET scan in four months. My life is on God's hands. I just want to live each day in a way that pleases Him and to enjoy His many blessings; many that I have taken for granted.Thanks again for your prayers!"

This was just such awesome news to get. I am so incredibly happy and am giving thanks to God for this blessing.

Lolli Beans Giveaway on babywisemom

Oh my goodness! I am so excited about this giveaway - probably more excited than any other giveaway I've tried to win before. Lolli Beans is giving a way a $100.00 gift card over on www.babywisemom.com. Lolli Beans (http://lollibeans.com/) has some adorable clothing and tons of organic baby items. Here's hoping to winning! Check it out: http://www.babywisemom.com/2010/08/product-review-lolli-beans-organics.html.

Zooey is 10 months old today!

Although I have enjoyed every minute with Zooey, and I definitely have my favorites, I think this past month has been my favorite month overall. Zooey's really beginning to develop a personality, and it's so much fun to watch. When I go in to get her up in the morning or from a nap, she now flips immediately onto her tummy and pops her head up to smile at me. She will babble nonstop from her highchair while I'm cooking dinner - to me, to the cats, to the dog, to Ryan. Zooey has this "scrunchy" smile she smiles that's just like mine. She says "mmmmm" while she's eating (although I know she doesn't know what "mmmmm" means, it's still cute). She has always been a very alert baby, but now more than ever she takes everything in and loves to examine the intricate details of things (like the bangs on her little plush doll or the fibers of the carpet). She is shy when we first walk into a room where others are; she does this cute thing where she smiles at them but then turns her head into my shoulder being bashful, but then she's all smiles and usually doesn't cry if I have to leave her. She laughs and laughs at who knows what, but it's so fun to see her getting a kick out of something. She likes to interact with other children, likes to touch their faces and copy them playing with the toys in the nursery. Zooey loves playing airplane with Ryan; the other day I caught the sweetest sight of them in her room - him holding her up in the air and her squealing with delight. There are so many other little things she does that I just find so fun and adorable! Even though I don't really think it's cute when she whines and persists when she's impatient or we take something away from her, I like that she's becoming more aware and learning more everyday, that she's becoming her own little person. Once again, all I can say is I am blessed and honored to be her mom.

Zooey likes:

touch & feel books

sleeping on her tummy or in the corner of her crib

faces: especially grabbing eyelashes and trying to shove her whole hand in our mouths

the digital clock on the microwave

her car mirror

fish

Zooey dislikes:

sunscreen application

to be burped, changed, dressed, etc. (but this could also be because she's in a leap again)

Zooey's new skills:

turns pages in books

scoots...rolls all over

really improved with the sippy cup!

says "mama" all the time (my personal favorite :) )

is thisclose to pushing herself up to sitting from her tummy and to crawling

Zooey had her 9 month checkup a little late, about 2 weeks ago. She weighed 17.8 lbs. and is 26" tall! Tonight I put her in 12 month pj's, and they're a little big but will definitely fit soon. I can't believe it!

Only two more months until my baby's one year old. Wow. This time with her is so amazing.

What's normal?

Life seems "back to normal" with the Cancer situation. Mom's back at work. She looks healthy, once again. Will things ever really be back to normal though? Will we all be waiting for the call after a scan - the call that says "the cancer's back"? It's extra hard, I think, in Mom's case, because of the sarcoidosis. Stupid things won't ever let them see if they even got it all. They'll be able to do comparison scans with what they've done and will do to see if there are any changes, but since the sarcoids look dark on the scan just like cancer, they'll never really be able to tell if they got it all. Ugh. It's scary. I find myself praying at night, "Please don't let her die, God. Please don't let her die." Of course, I seek God's will for her. Selfishly, though? I just want her here. I cannot imagine it. I don't let my mind go there. I read the statistics for lung cancer funding, and it makes me sick. Things like "The underfunding of lung cancer has kept its survival rate as low as it was in 1971." " 53% of lung cancer in women is not attributed to smoking." "Lung cancer is the leading cause of all cancer deaths for both men and women, accounting for 30% of all cancer deaths." I don't really know what the point of this post was...to vent, maybe? To ask for your prayers? Probably. I just continue to pray that it's gone and that we will never see it again.

Zooey is 9 months old today!

How fast nine months goes! In 9 months, I went from this:

(14 weeks pregnant)

to this:



and got this sweet girl:


who now, 9 months later, looks like this:

::"Memories" plays softly in the background::
:)

Pretty amazing at how time flies.

Zooey's new skills include:

pulling herself to standing

fine-tuning her pincer grasp and becoming a pro at finger foods

I don't know if this is really a skill...but she throws herself forward like she wants to crawl then squirms around on her tummy before getting real irritated and rolling over. If it's not a new skill, it's still pretty cute! She also hoists herself over our legs on her tummy.

says "boo" when she sees her books; "ba" when she sees or is playing with a ball; "mama" when she gets really upset - and looks right at me and reaches

Zooey LOVES:

books

standing, holding onto our fingers

baths in the big tub

yogurt melts

cheese

independent playtime

grabbing necklaces

our new dog Tiny

tickles

a big red bouncy ball

animals

Zooey hates:

diaper changes

...not much else. She's pretty easygoing.

Time with Zooey is so sweet. Sometimes I think about how, when you're going through something really hard, that time seems to drag on forever. It's awful. You feel like you'll never pull through it. But when you're going through something wonderful, like motherhood, like enjoying my baby's short, sweet, amazing babyhood, time flies by at a warp speed and you try with all you can to hold onto it. Tonight, I walked into the nursery to take a quick peek at Zooey, fast asleep, before I turned in. I had to catch my breath at how big she is! She was, only nine short months ago, this little tiny peanut in the very middle of her crib, and now her arms stretch and she touches one of the sides. She is so tall in pictures, and when she was propped up next to another baby her age at the park, I was shocked that she was actually taller. It was as if some weird thing in my head wasn't allowing me to see her as that big. :) I peered at her across the room at a party, and I noticed, with pride welling up inside me, her beautiful smile, her happy personality. She's growing into such a little cutie, and it is my privilege to be her mom. Every day brings something new (to both of us!), every day I am humbled, every day I love her more and am astonished at the blessing God has bestowed on us in her. I am so excited to see what the next months hold - crawling, walking, running, talking, playing new games, reading, learning...so much to look forward to.

Did the tri and reached my goal

Last weekend I completed the triathlon. It seems all that freaking out and pre-race neurosis was for nothing, because I beat my overall time (for this race) by 6 minutes! My second goal was to hit my pre-pregnancy goal by race day and I am now under that weight by almost five pounds. It was a lot of fun, and I was reminded of how empowered I feel once I cross the finish line. It's always good to have a fitness goal and acheive it. Doing triathlons remind me that I am strong, and this year I also thought a lot about how I want Zooey to grow up in a healthy, fit household. It was good, too, for me to have something to focus on other than mommyhood. :)

Freeze!

I have to wonder if all mommies have moments where they wish they could stop the clock, scoop their children into an embrace and just hold them there. The last eight and a half months have gone by faster than any other period of time in my life. I look at Zooey and I want to freeze everything about her right now; I don't want to ever forget it. And yet, I know that someday my job as mommy will be as complete as it can be, and she will be grown leaving these brief moments as memories. And I know that every stage will bring more fun, memorable moments along with it. I want to remember...

...the way she smiles and wiggles her whole body in joy when I go in to get her up from sleep
...the way she practically jumps out of my arms to get to Daddy when he gets home
...her fast, excited breathing when she's happy and can barely contain herself
...the way she practices making different sounds in the backseat while we're driving somewhere
...the way she furrows her brow in concentration when she's reaching for her finger foods, or when she falls backwards as if to say "what just happened?"
...how she daintily toys with my necklace then squeals and tries to put it in her mouth
...the way she snuggles on my lap as I read to her
...the weight of her in my arms as she stares outside when she wakes up

There's so much more. I replay these moments in my mind each day before I go to sleep - the sweet blessing she is and how much fun we have together as a family. It is all just so sweet...it leaves me without words.