I realize I've been pretty quiet on the blogging front, but that's because life's been pretty busy on the home front! Zooey just keeps getting bigger and bigger, and so many times each day I realize she's really a big girl now. We play, run errands, go do exciting things, and all day I love to see her excitement over life in general. Just today, we went to Sarah's to take her lunch, and Zooey was flat-out-overjoyed looking through the door at the dogs. We got home, and she giggled and pet Tiny as he jumped all over her and licked her face. Ah, to find joy in such little moments...luckily, I do get to experience joy just watching her. More about Zooey to come in her 32! month update.

I'm training for my first triathlon in two years and getting pumped for that. It's on June 17th and it's one I've done before. I'm excited and nervous, but I feel somewhat confident having done the course before. My swim is a little weak, but so far my bike and run are on target. My goal will be to run the entire run segment this race, which I have only done in one other tri. I've been really run-focused this time out, so I'm hoping that helps. I have also been reading about nutrition and hydration and realizing that I probably need to drink more fluids during the bike so I don't hit the wall on the run when temps get up to low 90's.

On another note of health, Ryan and I are going to do the Paleo Diet, me the one for athletes and him the regular one. I started yesterday and so far am only having mad sugar cravings in the evening when I normally load up on some candy. Which is exactly why I wanted to do this diet - to be more healthy and also to eat more protein, which I know I'm lacking on in my diet and need for training.

We are enjoying the summer so far and have been able to get out and swim and watch Zooey in the baby pool. Ryan is working hard on getting his garden going. He's going to plant his delicious tomatoes tomorrow and even try for a pumpkin this year. I love fresh produce! He's so good, and he tends to it so well; we had amazing veggies last year.

So, basically, our lives are going about pretty normally at the moment, and I am relishing the blessing of the family God has given me. I hope you are well!

Little things to love

~Zooey grabbing my hand to pull me anywhere

~Zooey taking all the alphabet magnets off the fridge & stacking them on the chairs - and running around the kitchen in circles, laughing hysterically

~Zooey trying to grab RaRa's hand to pull her to the restaurant's kitchen this morning at breakfast and telling the waitress all about how hungry she was

~Sleepy toddler snuggles

~Sleepy cat snuggles

~Strawberry Mentos

~"Carried Away" by B&B Works

~A quiet moment alone just to surf the Net

~Sneaking in to cover Zooey and still smelling her J&J Bedtime Lotion~bliss!

~That she slept until 9:00...so did I!

~A giant hug from the hub when he got home

I've been slacking on my blogging...

We will see how long this post is, as I think Zooey's in the process of dropping a nap and I may have to go get her very shortly. Life with a baby = little time to blog. There is so much that's been happening on all the fronts of my happy little blog.

On the "oh my gosh does she really think we care" front, we made the decision this week to eat less meat and try (insert overexaggerated drumroll) tofu! For those that know Ryan, this is a BIG deal. And get this - much of it was his idea! So far, we've tried a lovely little tofu stirfry that I threw together for lunch: tofu cubes sauteed in olive oil and garlic then stir fry in the brocolli, purple onion and red bell pepper seasoned with soy sauce and hot sauce; serve over hot brown rice. Delicious! I also made tofu spaghetti, which tasted like spaghetti sauce. I was in a hurry, but I'll let you know how it goes when I decide to actually make my own sauce. I'm excited about this change and hope it will last, as I know it is much healthier for us. We aren't foregoing meat completely, we just won't be eating it as much as we were. If you have any good bean or tofu recipes (or cookbook referrals), please let me know! My husband will not eat a dish with only veggies - there has to be some source of protein. I promise to share any good recipes I come across, too.

Growing in the importance scale here, Zooey is finally on a four hour routine. For those who follow Baby Wise or the Baby Whisperer type of routine, you know that it is nice to have blocks of 2+ hours when you don't have to be home, so "baby can nap." Plus, with all the nap problems we were having, I'm happy to report that the extended schedule actually helped her daytime sleep (I was sooo scared it would hinder it), and she's getting the rest she needs. She's also extra super happy, even with an impending leap on the way, and I promise to post some uber cute 8 month pic's in :sniff, sniff: a week.

It has been so nice to get out and about this summer. So far we've been to the zoo twice, the aquarium and the botanical gardens. I was thinking this morning how this time of year used to be so exciting, because it meant Ryan & I would be heading on our "anniversary vacation." This year, I'm just excited that Zooey's growing and can do more. Along with her physical growth, her sense of wonder grows by the minute, and it's so fun to watch her get interested in things and figure out the way the world works.

My mom finished her chemo and radiation this week. I know I've been somewhat silent on this topic on my blog, but that is because I had so many raw personal emotions about the subject that I decided to journal elsewhere rather than make it so public. It's been a trying experience for our family to watch her go through this. This past week has been extra hard on her, and she's having a very rough weekend. The sensation of not being able to get comfortable no matter what she tries is driving her crazy. The dr. gave her some med's to help her relax, and we're all praying that they will work quickly. In the midst of this whole thing, God continues to answer our prayers. She hasn't thrown up, not once. She had insurance and financial worries answered this week in a positive way. God has shown us all verses and sent us people to encourage us. My faith has grown and once again I have learned how dependent I must be on Christ and how He is in control - not me. I know some of you read this to learn how she is doing, and I wanted to tell you that her treatment has ended. Please continue to pray for quick recovery and that the treatment got rid of all cancer cells with no return.

And...I'm done with the post and it looks like I may even have time to prepare dinner before she wakes up. So nice!

It's hard not to compare

Isn't it?

You're little, you compare yourself to your sibling...that one probably doesn't go away completely for most people. You compare yourself to your friends - your dad can beat up their dad, your outfits, your boyfriends, your grades, your activities, your bodies. You compare yourself to strangers - their hair, their occupation, their "look," their confidence level. You compare your kids to other kids - why isn't my kid sitting? crawling? standing? walking? We put on a facade of "caring" but in all honesty, all we're really caring about is ourself 96% of the time. But why is it so hard to stop? Why, when God made us all individually unique? Why, when all you have to do is look around at others' beauty and see that God saw so much more than that when He created us? God should inspire confidence! We are, after all, fearfully and wonderfully made. Hoping and praying He will inspire that confidence in me this week, and not just for myself, but for my family as well.

Cherishing my Zooey tonight

How did I get so blessed to have such a sweet little baby, my Zooey? How is it that I was given such a precious gift? I look at her...she is such a source of immense joy for me. She is definitely one of the "perks" of this earthly life. I read a story today about a lady who had her sweet baby early this morning; he passed away this afternoon. I held my sweet Zooey and rocked her as she cried for an hour, completely missing her nap for whatever reason, and I cried. I cried for the poor woman who lost her sweet little boy, and instead of going home from the hospital with her bundle of joy, she will go home and plan his funeral. I cried for the sweet little baby, who although I know received pain meds and was surely on palative care, who I know received an outpouring of love in his sweet life, also knew a life of pain, of labored breathing. I cried tears of thanksgiving and from a cherishing heart for my little Zooey. I took on a whole new perspective of this time. I was thankful for the opportunity to hold her through these tears, thankful for the chance for time with her. That story just broke my heart and made me cherish what I've been given so much more. My prayers are with this sweet family, and my heart breaks for them. I don't understand why God allows what He does. I really don't...soooo many things I don't fully understand. But I can say for certain that He touched my heart and made me think about how fragile life is today and how my life, Zooey's life, Ryan's life are all in His hands. I can only imagine the impact this story made on many others, as well. Maybe He's even pointed someone to Him for the first time. And I know for certain that this sweet little baby is with Jesus now - perfect in form, probably being rocked in His arms, knowing perfect love and perfect peace. And although I don't understand it, what better life is that to have right from the start?

Dropping the swaddle...notes for next time

We've decided to drop Zooey's swaddle. She's getting too big for it, and at 6 months I don't really think she needs it developmentally. I bought a couple summer sleep sacks, because it is SO HOT here in the summer, and her room is extra hot. Yesterday was day #1 with her 3rd nap. Today, after talking to a friend, I decided to start just swaddling her lower half (no arms) and move to the sleep sack after she's comfortable with that. Today's been rough. Lots of crying and waking early and more crying. She rubs her eyes and gets mad, I think. It's so weird, because she goes 12 hours at night with no swaddle and has always slept well at night without it (since 2 mos.). I guess she just got used to it during the day. She went down fairly easy for her 3rd nap; we'll see if she sleeps the normal length.

Updated 4.30.10
Zooey was a baby who needed to move slow for dropping the swaddle. We've decided to continue to swaddle her trunk until she can sleep with a blanket. As she grows, we may change to using just a sleep sack. If we do that, we will take the same process we did for dropping the swaddle. It took Zooey 3 weeks to completely drop the swaddle, because I read some good advice to go slow. Zooey had been napping with one arm out for awhile, so week one we did both arms out for her catnap. Week 2, we did her afternoon nap, and week 3 we did all 3 naps. She is sleeping well with no problems. I know some babies can drop it over a couple of days, but Zooey must be like her mommy and not like change. :)

Psalm 139

1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.

2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

17 How precious to [b] me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.

19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.

21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?

22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

We're home!

Zooey & I are home. The trip back home was, shall we say, more adventurous than the journey there. First off, I bought too many outfits at the Carters outlet store and coupled with the extra wipes from my trip, I had to bounce up and down on my suitcaseto get it to shut. Visions of underwear going round and round at baggage claim from a busted suitcase were running through my mind. When I finally got that taken care of, I went downstairs and to my dismay realized that my car seat base was in Jenni's car. Crap. She was kind enough to turn around and make the 20 minute drive to bring it to me and drop me off for breakfast with my in-laws. While waiting for her, we had a major spit-up issue which thankfully was all over Zooey's jacket and none on the outfit. The airport included a mini-hunger-breakdown at security and a leaky diaper & costume change...oh, and a delayed flight. Zooey & I were both very happy when we finally walked through the gates at the airport and saw Daddy at the waiting area! :) Even with all that, it wasn't that bad. Zooey is an AWESOME baby and did great on the plane. People were even commenting on how great she was and asking me my "secret." Um. Nurse her so her ears don't hurt. She adjusted to her routine perfectly and already seems to be right back on track. We are very blessed. Sometimes I wonder if the next one will be this happy, content and easygoing, but only time will tell.

Of course, coming home brings me back to reality, and once again my family is up against cancer. My mom had her biopsy consultation this morning, and they got her in super quick - tomorrow morning at 7:00. The dr. said he was concerned and is "praying that it is just scar tissue from a prior infection." That is what we are praying, too. Again, no matter what happens, I have full confidence in God's perfect will. I also firmly believe that the speediness of this process thus far is no accident. I feel that the timing of each appointment has been an answer to prayer. God is faithful. He works all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. I REJOICE in knowing that this includes each one of my immediate family members. We're gearing up for battle. I keep thinking of the spiritual armor that I must put on daily to combat the enemy's lies and the anxiety that comes with the fear he is constantly trying to instill in my mind. My mom is so brave. It has to be so scary and so hard to know that you're going to face something that sucks SO BADLY. It has to take a courage like none I've ever known. I know God is with her, I can see it in her face.

My Little Valentine

Zooey's first Valentine's Day was yesterday! We are visiting Jenni for President's Day weekend, and we've been having SO much fun. We've been hanging out, watching movies, shopping (oh-my-goodness-so-exciting-Carters Outlet Store!), eating and talking. My mom, of course, is still on my mind, but it's been a nice, relaxing trip and a good mental break for me. I even took a bath! The last time I got to do that was in August when I was pregnant and sick with that horrible stomach flu that gave me contractions! It's been a really sweet time, and I've been enjoying it. Zooey's been enjoying it, too. She traveled well and conquered her first plane ride like a champ. Even though her routine got a little off, she was right back on track by day 2 and we've had minimal fussing/crying with her. Everyone's always impressed with how good a baby Zooey is. :) She really just goes with the flow; I could learn a lot from her. I heard her first real belly laughs this weekend and even got them on video (e-mail me if you'd like the link and password to view it). It was hysterical, heart-warming and SOOO cute! She's fascinated by a new rattle that Jenni & Austin gave her and seems to have mastered the art of shaking it. I mean, she was shaking stuff before, but now she is amazed that she is the one making the rattling noise. She's just so much fun, and I am so in love with her! I feel like I have a better understanding of love this Valentine's Day just having her in my life. I could go on and on, but it's time to get on with the day...my visit's almost over. Love to all!

God is SO good

A dear children's leader from BSF gave us other CL's a sweet gift for Christmas this year, a book entitled Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. I've only had it a week, and already my heart has been so touched by the devotions. Since I have my quiet time in the morning and study my BSF lesson, I've been reading this book at night. It's brought me peace at the end of some hectic days, and it's a good way for me to start and end my day with Christ...and a reminder to dwell with Him throughout. Today's entry was really cool; I have to share.

"My plan for your life is unfolding before you. Sometimes the road you are traveling seems blocked, or it opens up so painfully slowly that you must hold yourself back. Then, when time is right, the way before you sudenly clears, through no effort of your own. What you have longed for and worked for I present to you freely, as pure gift. You feel awed by the ease with which I operate in the world, and you glimpse My Power and My Glory.

Do not fear your weakness, for it is the stage on which My Power and Glory perform most brilliantly. As you persevere along the path I have prepared for you, depending on My strength to sustain you, expect to see miracles - and you will. Miracles are not always visible to the naked eye, but those who live by faith can see them clearly. Living by faith, rather than sight, enables you to see My Glory."

I think back over the last year of my life and I realize that there have been several times I thought my road was blocked, but God had better timing in mind for me. Like last Christmas as I watched the children singing "Happy Birthday" to Jesus and opening their gifts, and I thought my desire wouldn't be met for a long time...and God opened Ryan's heart to the idea of having a child. Like every single time my anxiety got in the way (about everything), and God used my weakness to strengthen my faith in Him. I may be a slow learner, but God's a patient teacher, and going to Him first is becoming habit rather than the afterthought of yet another panic attack. When Ryan applied for TSA, what was it - in February, I began praying daily, sometimes multiple times in a day, that he would get that job or another one that would allow me to stay home with my sweet baby. I didn't think it would ever happen...I began to think maybe being a stay-at-home-mom wasn't a desire that fit with God's will. I began to pray for God to steady my heart in preparation to return to work outside the home, but His timing is so perfect! The minute Ryan heard, the day he heard, the way my boss called me that day...I mean, only God could compose a symphany so sweet out of such small details of people's lives, right? And now, as a mom, I turn to my Lord for guidance and direction daily. I ask Him to take me and Ryan's weaknesses and turn them into example, for Him to call my Zooey to Him at a young age and for Ryan & I to train her up right in the way she should go. Sure, children have basic needs that are fairly easy to meet, but becoming a parent is a little scary. There's no road map; there's just Jesus - and He is all we need to succeed. I know He will take my weaknesses along this journey and shine His Power and His Glory through them if I trust Him.

What a sweet Lord I serve! Thank you, Jesus, for putting on flesh and enduring the cross so that I could have a relationship with you. Thank you for using the tough stuff for your glory - I pray You will be glorified.

I'm quitting my job today!

Zooey is six weeks old this week. This is the week my paid maternity benefits end, the week I was hoping to let my employer know that I'm not coming back because I was hoping that TSA would've called Ryan by now. I honestly hoped I could've let them know sooner, because I didn't want to be dishonest or "milk the system."

Just when I started to really freak out...TSA CALLED RYAN YESTERDAY AND OFFERED HIM A JOB! He starts December 7th, although his official start date is the 6th, and his benefits will begin within 2 weeks after that. Praise the Lord! So, I am going to the bank today to turn in my notice. We are going to use COBRA insurance in the meantime. Does God always have perfect timing, or what?

To all those who patronized me about the weight gain...

...I am currently 7 lbs. away from my pre-pregnancy weight. Take that Dr. - I told you it was water!! Sorry, it's just, as one could see from my early pregnancy posts, I freaked a little bit about my weight gain. No, my body is not the current shape it was in before, and no, I'm not in my pre-pregnancy jeans quite yet, but I am super happy with my results from doing nothing (although I suspect the breastfeeding has helped). I am also quite confident that once I start running again, I'll be back in those jeans in a jiffy. :)

Crazy Dream & Random Thoughts

I had a dream last night that I went into labor, but Ryan didn't believe me. It was the middle of the night, and he would not get up to take me to the hospital. I didn't want to leave without him (obviously), and I was so upset. For some reason all of the sudden I knew the baby was crowning, but then I woke up to go to the bathroom. Weird, huh?

She is super low in there. When she starts wiggling her little arms about, it places some serious pressure on my poor bladder. I love her so much! I love interacting with her when she's moving around; I can't imagine how much I'm going to love her when she's actually here. I already think about all the things we're going to do together. I also worry that I'm going to be a good mom. I know all I can do is pray that God will lead me on the right path of parenting. I am so excited to tell my child about Jesus' love!

"Teach (God's commands) to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." - Deut. 11:19

My heart is once again heavy this morning in worry about Ryan's job situation and my incredibly deep desire to be able to stay home with my baby (& any future children). It is so hard for me not to give into the anxiety and trust the Lord in this, but I know it is what I must do. So many verses come to mind to calm my anxious heart; sometimes that human nature in me just wants to cling to my worry and try to control the situation myself, which I know is the world's largest impossibility. I must trust, I must remember all the Lord has done for me in my life, and I must pray and know others are praying alongside us for this situation.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding." - Prov. 3:5
"In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From His temple He heard my voice; my cry came before Him, into His ears." - Ps. 18:6

TSA Step 5

I think everyone experiences those moments of faith that call them to cry out for a glimpse of God’s mercy and His listening ear. Such was the case with my prayer this morning. There have been a few prayers lately where even though I believe with all my heart that God is listening and in control, I haven’t really heard the answers yet, and so my human nature is seeking the Lord to affirm my faith. This is why I cried when Ryan called me this morning to tell me that TSA called him today to come in for the assessment, which I believe is about step 5 out of 7 or 8 in being hired. I am praying that he will be well rested for the interview and God will give him any mental or physical stamina that he needs, that the Holy Spirit will be with him in giving his answers and He will prepare the interviewer/s and that God will confirm quickly whether or not this is the job for Ryan. This is more than just pre-baby planning and wanting to work out our finances. Ryan is really unhappy and very stressed where he is working now, and I’ve been praying for the last few days that God would remove Him from the car industry if that’s His will. I don’t like to see my husband that stressed out. So…if you’re following this, any prayers would be appreciated. Hopefully the Lord will continue to move Ryan through the process quickly and we’ll hear something soon. The Lord is so sweet to answer my prayer this morning and care about the little things. He is so sweet to affirm my faith when I am undeservedly blessed to be given this faith in the first place. To Him be the glory for the things He hath done (& is going to do).

Cheers to Jenni!

Driving in to work this morning, I was thinking about how last year at around this time, Jenni & I did the MS150 in Colorado. The MS150 is 150 mile bike ride over two days; the first day I think we did 80 and the second day we did the rest. Jenni & I tend to, to put it mildly, have slight anxiety the night before a race. And the day of a race, too, I might add. Aw heck, it's more than slight anxiety - it's outright hysteria. But after the race, it always makes us laugh. I have so many great memories of our friendship, and I am so thankful she is in my life! Cheers to Jenni and some of the great memories we've made. :)

10 more days until vacation!

I cannot wait! Ryan & I will be going to San Antonio for a week and other than a couple planned activities, we plan to just relax. I'm very excited. I really, really need the break from work, and this will be our last long trip with just the two of us for awhile. We've been really blessed that so far in our marriage we've been able to go away together each year for our anniversary; this year is #4. Time goes so fast!

I was talking to a girl at work today about her ex-fiancee. So much of his treatment of her reminds me of my past and makes me realize how I am incredibly grateful for Ryan. He has always been respectful, caring, patient and loving toward me. I am so thankful God put me with my perfect match and that we are now going to have a child together. He's so much fun to be with but sensitive and serious, too. I can't wait for the next four - and more - years together.

My cat is anxious about the baby

Snowball & Moto are my first "babies." Snowball is pretty chill, never really freaks out about anything and is my little constant companion. I have had her for about 9 years now. Moto is still a young little cat; we got him when he was a kitten, and he's about 3. He's always been a little "odd" and very, very feisty (however, to all you naysayers, he is NOT a feral cat - I even asked the vet). Moto has spunk (I know some of you are thinking he is evil, but he's always been very lovey to me), so much spunk, in fact, that he has to be anesthetised to be examined at the vet. Moto likes to eat plastic bags, pantyhose and wool. He has recently started to eat the fur off the back of his front legs. The vet has previously suggested anti-anxiety medication for my poor little cat, but I turned them down. Until today. I called the vet to tell her about Moto's recent hair-pulling, and she suggested them again. She even quipped that maybe after some time on the "treatment" he will be able to be examined without being drugged up. She asked about all the changes in our lives, and when I told her the only really big one was me being pregnant, she agreed with Sarah & my theory that animals are very observant, and he can probably tell there are changes happening. Poor little Moto is anxious about the baby. After all, he has been the baby for the last three years. :) I'll keep you posted on his progress...

Moto is the orange one; Snowball's the black & white

On another note, my husband is amazing!! Yesterday, I came home, and he had done all the laundry, cleaned out the office almost all the way AND patched a hole in the roof above the nursery. Today I came home, and the office was organized and cleaned out; space has been made for almost all the baby's stuff. Now all we have to do is clean out the closet and move one more bookshelf to the garage and start decorating! :)

Summer Break

The last night of BSF was last night, and it was a nice night of sharing. I think overall the Lord has worked some lessons into my heart and mind that He definitely wants me to apply from the study of The Life of Moses. The first has been trust. During the study, we really got to see how the Lord drew Moses closer to Him and Moses grew in his faith and trust in the Lord. He was first called, way out of his comfort zone, to follow God's calling to lead the people out of Egypt. "No way," he said, "send someone else." So God offered Him help. I have felt out my comfort zone many times over this past year, from being a first year children's leader and wondering where the time was going to come from to complete the lessons to caring for my grandma to now awaiting a baby with only one of us working. I keep praying about Ryan's job situation, and it seems like Ryan may be following the right path in continuing to do the car sales thing...but I'm out of my comfort zone not knowing and waiting for God's time and His revelation to us both what His will is for us. Many times over the last year, I've whined, "This isn't fair God! Why can't it be someone else?" And God has sent me fellow BSF leaders and family to help or to pray. From that first call then onto the parting of the Red Sea to trusting God's path in the wilderness to obeying when God said it was time for him to die, Moses trusted God, and that's all I can do, as well. The second thing I learned is that God will enable us for the tasks He has called us to do. I have seen Him continually, week by week, provide the time for me to complete those lessons I was worried about, even when it felt like there was no time. He has enabled me to lead children of an age group I have never led. On Monday nights, when invariably, I had morning sickness or a migraine or some form of opposition on my health, when my sweet fellow leaders & I prayed before class, I know it was Him who enabled me to not just get through the evening, but who sustained me with extra energy and joy. He will also enable me to be a mother. And like He spoke those small words to me last week in my frustration, just like He enabled Moses, He will enable me to care for my grandma. The final thing I really gleaned from this year was the value of intercession for those you lead and for others in my life. I saw how arguments with those close to me were best resolved when I shut my mouth and prayed for the Holy Spirit's intercession for the situation, because I just didn't know how to pray. I saw how when we prayed specifically for students to come or to complete their lessons that those prayers were answered, and students came, behaved and had completed lessons. I saw how in the midst of tough situations that prayer for the other people changed my perspective so that I didn't quite feel as worried or angry. It's been quite a year! I am excited for John to begin next year and am also very thankful for the blessing of Summer break.

He IS Risen!

"1After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb.
2There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. 3His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. 4The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men.
5The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. 6He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. 7Then go quickly and tell his disciples: 'He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.' Now I have told you."
8So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. 9Suddenly Jesus met them. "Greetings," he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. 10Then Jesus said to them, "Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me." - Matthew 28:1-9

When Jesus was on the cross, it was a choice. He was not forced to do it, but He chose to do it. He endured the pain and the beatings, because He looked down through history and saw your face. He stretched His arms out on that cross and was nailed to it, so He could wrap those same arms around you today in an embrace of love. This is so amazing to me, that Jesus chose to endure His crucifixion, because even though it was hard, He knew the Father's plan was best. And the coolest part is that He conquered death and the slavery of sin, so that we can be in relationship with God. He IS risen, He DOES reign at God's right hand, and He IS coming back!

May you and yours be blessed this Easter.

Through the first trimester!

I look at my ticker at the top, which says I am 13 weeks, 5 days preganant. It gives the dates for T1, T2 and T3. I guess sometimes my pregnancy still feels surreal to me, because to me those "T's" stand for "transition" in triathlon lingo. I got kind of a cute idea from one of the blogs I follow, and I thought it might be fun to start kind of a basic list of things that are happening regarding the pregnancy. I have to say, I am very relieved to be past my first trimester! For anyone who has gone through it, it's especially nerve-wracking. Last week I was especially paranoid when I got so ill, because I was so worried I was going to get dehydrated. On Thursday, I realized I had to go to the doctor for more personal "fun" reason, so I began to pray that if I asked, she would let me hear the baby's heartbeat again - especially since I had been unsuccessful at my attempts with our home doppler. I almost started crying at how much God cares about the intimate details of our lives, because as soon as I was done telling her what was going on, she pulled out the doppler - without me asking - and had me lay back, so we could hear the heartbeat. God is just so cool to do little things like that for us! Our other milestone this week was announcing to the people in our lives who didn't know that we were expecting. That's been exciting. I gotta' say that it's also been a little "freeing" not having to try to suck in my belly at work anymore to prevent the stares I've been getting the last few weeks. :) Most of my belly at this point is still probably bloat, but because I'm small, I can tell where the top of my uterus is. Some of this bump is me starting to show. Here is my 13 week "belly" picture:

How far along: 13 weeks 5 days

Total weight gain/loss: +1 lb. (the only good thing about losing 10 lbs. when I was sick is that now I'm where I should be gain wise)

Maternity clothes?: some pants & bella band

Stretch marks: nope

Sleep: still doing well

Best moment this week: Hearing the heartbeat on the doppler at the doctor's office on Monday.

Movement: Can't feel it yet, but heard some kicks on the doppler :)

Food Cravings: Cheerios, cherry Twizzlers, fresh fruit

Gender: really thought it was a boy up to this point, currently no leanings...

Labor signs: none.

Belly button in or out: In. And if it pops out, I will be disgusted.

What I miss: Running hard in this beautiful weather.

What I'm looking forward to: Feeling the baby move, and in 2 appointments the ultrasound and finding out the sex!

Weekly wisdom: From my friend Jennifer, not to stress about weight gain but to be as healthy as I can and know my body will gain what it needs to gain to keep the baby healthy.

Milestones: Telling our little world.