Zooey is 3 months old!

My sweet girl is three months old! My, how fast time flies! I was thinking about work, and how there were times when I felt a quarter of the year would just draaaaggg on. Zooey's first quarter of life has flown by!

I can really see why people say that babies get a lot more fun at three months old. I've always thought Zooey was a ton of fun, of course, but her personality is really starting to shine. One of my favorite times of day is when Zooey first wakes up. I can hear her in there cooing and laughing at herself, and it just brings a smile to my face. When I go in to get her, she lights up and starts pumping those little arms and legs and usually gives me a happy smile. It just makes my heart burst in joy! She then eats, and this is probably my favorite feed of the day - even though I'm bleary-eyed and haven't had my coffee - because it's just us. The house is quiet, and she cuddles up against me and it's just so nice to have that time together. Then we usually have some chit-chat time, where we might play with a rattle or something but keep things pretty mellow. I've actually begun to read my "Baby's First Year" book/journal to her; it tells me about her development, and I also read my "Jesus is Calling" devotional to her. I know she doesn't understand what I'm saying, but I've read their little brains are storing up words and tones for later on. She gets so excited when I read to her! She kicks her legs, breaks out in smile and coos words back at me. I just love this time of day with her.

Zooey's newest skills are grasping a rattle and holding it with both hands and bringing it to her mouth, batting at objects, smiling at toys/familiar objects and following people with her eyes around the room. She also can sit upright with assistance now, and this enables her to sit in the Moby with her head out, which she loves especially when we go somewhere like the grocery store. Ryan and I talk to her about what we're getting and what we see and smell, and she becomes very alert and conversational. My mom thinks we're going to have another talker in the family like me and Zooey's Aunt Sarah. :)

Nursing continues to be going well, which I am so happy about. It's funny, in the early days I was so torn about continuing to try and even contemplated exclusive pumping to feed her. I almost gave up, but this is something I'm so glad I was stubborn about. At first, to be honest, I was all about nursing for the nutritional benefits and part of me was just trying to do it to do it, you know? It was just something I'd put my mind to - not only because it was good for Zooey but also because it's just what I had decided to do. The bonding part of nursing never occured to me. My mom was really the one who encouraged me to stick with it, saying that that's why she had wanted to nurse Sarah when she was a baby and she was kind of sad she wasn't able to. Now, the bonding is what I enjoy most, and I am also so glad Zooey's getting all those nutrients. It is just such sweet time, and I really treasure cuddling with her.

Being a mom continues to be all I wanted and more, and the more Zooey becomes her own little person, the more I fall even more in love with her. People always say that your heart grows to let more love inside when you have a baby - boy, did it ever! And it just keeps getting bigger and bigger. Not just for Zooey, but for Ryan, too. As I watch him with Zooey and see what a tender, loving father he is, I fall even more in love with him, too.

I read something funny and so true this week. It was a quote, and it said, "I was the best mother until I became a mother." I am learning what this means more and more. Before I had Zooey, I'd look at people and think I would or would not do certain things. I'd look at people and question their decisions, being somewhat closed-minded to the fact that there are different parenting styles that work for different people. I think most of that has gone out the window. I realize that parents and children have different personalities, and you have to figure out what works with that.

I want so much for Zooey to have all the very best, to not make the mistakes I made and to follow God better than I did at times in my life. I know I have to trust God with these things, but I am in prayer constanly about raising her the way HE wants me to. It's easy to hear, read or see things and question what I'm doing at times, but the time in prayer really helps me to guage whether HE approves, and that's all that matters. He's constantly refining me and pointing out things I need to change as an example to my sweet daughter. And I pray He will help me to do this.

Christmas

Christmas this year was a lot of fun! Our best gift this year was having Zooey here. :) I was a little worried about how she was going to do on Christmas, because on Christmas Eve day/night, she was pretty fussy and even woke in the night, because she still had her cold. :( Poor baby! But...I held onto the hope that since the worst of my cold was gone in about 3 days, maybe hers would be, too, and it was. Praise God!

Zooey and I started our day like usual, feed, play and chat together then she was down for her nap. Ryan had to work, so I got some breakfast ready for him, and we watched Elf together until it was time for Zooey to wake up. She obviously had no clue what was going on, but I was SO excited! We put all her presents out on the floor for her and put her on her Boppy, so we could all enjoy the excitement together.

Moto obviously thought all the presents were for him...no such luck, Moto.

While I was getting everything together, Ryan was watching TV, and Zooey decided the show was pretty interesting, too.

That is, until the fun began:

She doesn't look too sure about this, does she? Well, once we began opening everything and showing her all the fun stuff she got, she got a little more excited.

After we did this stuff, we went to Sarah & Rey's house for a wonderful Christmas dinner and had a lot of fun with the family. Zooey wasn't up much, but she's such a good girl - she napped really well in the pack n' play at their house. Everyone was so generous to her, and we got some really awesome stuff for her! Everyone was pretty tuckered out at the end of the day, so we headed home and had a nice night's sleep.

Of course, even better than having sweet little Zooey here is the knowledge that we were celebrating our Lord Jesus' birth. Since I've started going to BSF, I've found myself reflecting on the words of the old hymns rather than, ahem, kind of just singing them to get through them. I've found the hymns are so rich with words of praise for our Lord, and since Christmas songs are hymns, I really focused on the words in the Christmas Eve service at church this year and was blessed by that. In the words of one blogger, "(Zooey) may've changed our lives, but Jesus changed the world." Perfectly said. May God bless you and keep you in 2010.

Sick Baby + Shots = Miserable Baby

Poor Zooey! She woke up yesterday morning with the cold I've been harboring since last Friday. She still seemed to be in pretty good spirits except for the congestion. She was scheduled for her 2 month shots. We were a little late on them, because of the insurance situation; as long as she didn't have a fever she could still be vaccinated. So off to the doctor we went. She got tired and fussy sooner than normal (probably because she's sick), and we waited for awhile for the doctor. After crying from the shots, she pretty much zonked out when I put her in the car seat. She seemed fine for her next wake time. It was the next one where I got a taste of one of the hard parts of mommyhood. As I rubbed her little legs as instructed by the doctor to do, she started screaming and crying in pain. :( This was SO hard to watch! I stopped and tried to do the bicycle kicks (very gently, mind you). Still crying. I tried to distract her, hold her, shh her, all my usual "calming tricks," but nothing worked. It hurt her when I changed her diaper, too. She finally settled down a bit when I gave her Tylenol and fed her, so I put her under the tree (Oooo - lights! Very exciting!) where she kicked her little legs. I am just trusting that the exercise helped. I think it did; she seems a little better today. Her congestion's cleared up a bit, too...praying for a better day tomorrow for my sweet girl's first Christmas.

Does this face not say, "Mom, what are you up to? I have a feeling something bad's going to happen here..." I took this with my phone while we were waiting for the doctor.

God is SO good

A dear children's leader from BSF gave us other CL's a sweet gift for Christmas this year, a book entitled Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. I've only had it a week, and already my heart has been so touched by the devotions. Since I have my quiet time in the morning and study my BSF lesson, I've been reading this book at night. It's brought me peace at the end of some hectic days, and it's a good way for me to start and end my day with Christ...and a reminder to dwell with Him throughout. Today's entry was really cool; I have to share.

"My plan for your life is unfolding before you. Sometimes the road you are traveling seems blocked, or it opens up so painfully slowly that you must hold yourself back. Then, when time is right, the way before you sudenly clears, through no effort of your own. What you have longed for and worked for I present to you freely, as pure gift. You feel awed by the ease with which I operate in the world, and you glimpse My Power and My Glory.

Do not fear your weakness, for it is the stage on which My Power and Glory perform most brilliantly. As you persevere along the path I have prepared for you, depending on My strength to sustain you, expect to see miracles - and you will. Miracles are not always visible to the naked eye, but those who live by faith can see them clearly. Living by faith, rather than sight, enables you to see My Glory."

I think back over the last year of my life and I realize that there have been several times I thought my road was blocked, but God had better timing in mind for me. Like last Christmas as I watched the children singing "Happy Birthday" to Jesus and opening their gifts, and I thought my desire wouldn't be met for a long time...and God opened Ryan's heart to the idea of having a child. Like every single time my anxiety got in the way (about everything), and God used my weakness to strengthen my faith in Him. I may be a slow learner, but God's a patient teacher, and going to Him first is becoming habit rather than the afterthought of yet another panic attack. When Ryan applied for TSA, what was it - in February, I began praying daily, sometimes multiple times in a day, that he would get that job or another one that would allow me to stay home with my sweet baby. I didn't think it would ever happen...I began to think maybe being a stay-at-home-mom wasn't a desire that fit with God's will. I began to pray for God to steady my heart in preparation to return to work outside the home, but His timing is so perfect! The minute Ryan heard, the day he heard, the way my boss called me that day...I mean, only God could compose a symphany so sweet out of such small details of people's lives, right? And now, as a mom, I turn to my Lord for guidance and direction daily. I ask Him to take me and Ryan's weaknesses and turn them into example, for Him to call my Zooey to Him at a young age and for Ryan & I to train her up right in the way she should go. Sure, children have basic needs that are fairly easy to meet, but becoming a parent is a little scary. There's no road map; there's just Jesus - and He is all we need to succeed. I know He will take my weaknesses along this journey and shine His Power and His Glory through them if I trust Him.

What a sweet Lord I serve! Thank you, Jesus, for putting on flesh and enduring the cross so that I could have a relationship with you. Thank you for using the tough stuff for your glory - I pray You will be glorified.

Squeals!!

I have been waiting for Zooey to squeal or laugh, and today I got my wish! I was playing one of her favorite games where I move my hand slowly back and forth above her making sounds before I swoop the hand down and tickle her (oh, my - she loves the suspense!), and after I tickled her she grinned and squealed! It was SO cute! This was, of course, accompanied by much leg pumping and moving of the arms as if to say, "Do it again, Mommy!" Later when I was changing her, she was looking at the koala picture on the wall and grinning. When I was talking to her, she looked up and squealed again. What precious moments these were. I wish I could just bottle it up like Ariel's voice in the Little Mermaid (except not in a mean way like in the movie), so I could listen to it whenever I wanted to. She's such a sweet little girl, and her personality is really starting to shine. Zooey's a very happy, very content baby. Her playtimes are full of smiles, and she hardly ever fusses. In fact, she usually only cries when she's over tired or overstimulated. My heart just feels like it will explode with love for her! What a blessing she is.

Zooey is two months old today!

I feel like a lot has happened over the last month. Ryan got a new job, so I'm able to stay home with Zooey. I cannot even begin to say how happy I am about this, how blessed I am. I thank God for His loving kindness and His sweet provision. Even though we've been on a routine since Zooey's second week of life, I feel like it's finally becoming habit and working really well. I'm back at BSF after an 8 week break; it's so nice to be back! Thanksgiving has come and gone, and Christmas is fast approaching. Before we know it, 2010 will be here!

Zooey's new talents include: grabbing a rattle and holding onto it (yesterday she actually brought it to her mouth and tried to suck on it), lots and lots of smiles, cooing when we talk to her - especially about something exciting, napping better and more consistently (thank you Baby Whisperer!) and holding her head up for a long time. She also loves to plan on Daddy's lap! He holds her in a standing position, and she tries her very hardest to balance herself. Her little face is full of concentration, but of course we're not quite there yet. :) I am proud to announce one of her biggest accomplishments -- drumroll, please...she has slept EIGHT hours the last two nights! I feel like a new woman! I think I forgot what it was like to sleep without it being broken up into 3-4 hour chunks. A little blurb about myself that I'm pretty darn excited about: as of today, I'm officially back to my pre-pregnancy weight! Woo hoo for breastfeeding!!

Zooey's little personality is starting to come out more and more. We are seeing that she is more like Ryan than just in the looks department. She is pretty mellow most of the time, very happy and content. That's Ryan to a "T." She does speak her mind when something's not right, like when she's hungry, tired or frustrated. Those little peeps can escalate into a very vocal cry very quickly. Just like....both of us. Ok, if I'm honest here, I'm probably the more impatient one in the family. :) It's fun to play with Zooey, and as I learn more about her, I'm learning her likes and dislikes. Not only is that fun, it's also very cool to know that I can comfort her or provide for her needs quicker than I could on day one or even month one.

I'm so excited to see what the next months hold! When will she squeal with delight? When will she roll over all the way? When will her cooing become more conversational? I'm also so excited for Christmas and will be taking a ton of pictures! My heart melts when I see our little baby sleeping in her crib, when I'm nursing her, when I play with her and see those smiles. My heart fills like it's going to burst when I see Ryan and Zooey on the couch together, hanging out and snuggling. I was talking to Sarah, and she put it best: it's meant to be - it feels like it's always been this way. So perfect, I praise and thank God and try to relish every moment that I can.

Cry It Out is soooo hard!!

Ryan & I have decided to let Zooey cry it out when she's having problems napping, which seems to be happening more and more as of late. I think I may've gotten her into a bad routine (scratch that - I KNOW I have) by rocking her until she's almost asleep then putting her down. Starting yesterday, I began the CIO, checking in on her, but I wasn't very consistent. After much reading today from other mommies' blogs, etc... I now know you either have to "go big or go home" as one writer put it. It is so hard to hear little Zooey crying in the other room, but she does finally go to sleep. The women who have done this before say their children were usually better sleep trained by days 3-5 of CIO, so that's what I'm hoping (and praying) for. The way I look at it, we're helping her to get sleep, which is actually better for her in the long run. Plus...hopefully this will help us if she gets stuck on that middle of the night feed.

Zooey has begun stretching her nighttime sleep. Sunday night we did the dreamfeed at 10:30, she woke/fussed but went back to sleep at 3:15; she then went to 5:00 before waking to eat - 6.5 hours. Last night we did the DF at 10:30, she woke with a very wet/dirty diaper and ate at 1:45; she then went to 7:30 (about 6 hours). Yay! I can't wait to see what the next few weeks hold for her sleep training. :)