55 days

Sometimes it feels like time is creeping towards my due date, but then I'll open my computer and my homepage will give me my countdown and I realize how fast time is truly moving. I had lunch with a friend and her baby yesterday. I picked her brain about a few things that I've been thinking a lot about lately - breastfeeding, how you know when to do what, swaddling and soothing...many other things, I'm sure. She is a very godly woman, and I greatly appreciated the advice she had to offer, especially the reassurance and encouragement not to be nervous. I watched her interact with her little guy, and it really struck me that I'm sure you research as much as you can and try to get as much info. from the "experts" that you can, but when your baby arrives a lot of things come to you out of love.

I have really been struck by the overwhelming peace that God has given me through the majority of my pregnancy. Oh, sure, I have my freak-outs sometimes when I feel a new pain or I hear about complications in others' pregnancies or babies, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it is God and Him alone who has removed anxiety from my life. Even now I can see how He fit all the pieces together, and how this baby is totally part of His plan. I remember the year before getting pregnant how my desire for children increased, but my prayer remained that God would show us His timing for kids by matching Ryan's desire to mine. God worked on my heart regarding worry and anxiety the prior year through our Bible study in Matthew through many things in my life, and I constantly heard His voice saying, "Trust me." Last year, through the Moses study (as I've mentioned before), God worked on me all year regarding the area of trust, and as I read the things that Moses went through and how he had no choice but to trust the Lord, God instilled a higher level of trust in my heart as well. Then Ryan's desire matched mine, and we were given this blessing. I cannot imagine the level of worry I would've had if I had tried to push my plan on my own. I wish I could put into words how it feels that I've been given this freedom from Him. I know things could happen to me, to the baby, to Ryan - however, we are GOD'S. Our lives are in HIS hands and always have been, even since the moment of my & Ryan's conceptions. I've just seen Him do too much in my life and the lives of others to believe any different than His ultimate control is best.

In our childbirth classes, everytime the teacher would say something like "Mother Nature designed it this way..." I scoffed but then had a rush of thanksgiving and awe at how GOD (not M.N.) designed this process. It is just such a blessing, and I am relishing every moment, even the pregnancy discomforts. It will soon be over. I can't wait to meet our daughter!