What's normal?

Life seems "back to normal" with the Cancer situation. Mom's back at work. She looks healthy, once again. Will things ever really be back to normal though? Will we all be waiting for the call after a scan - the call that says "the cancer's back"? It's extra hard, I think, in Mom's case, because of the sarcoidosis. Stupid things won't ever let them see if they even got it all. They'll be able to do comparison scans with what they've done and will do to see if there are any changes, but since the sarcoids look dark on the scan just like cancer, they'll never really be able to tell if they got it all. Ugh. It's scary. I find myself praying at night, "Please don't let her die, God. Please don't let her die." Of course, I seek God's will for her. Selfishly, though? I just want her here. I cannot imagine it. I don't let my mind go there. I read the statistics for lung cancer funding, and it makes me sick. Things like "The underfunding of lung cancer has kept its survival rate as low as it was in 1971." " 53% of lung cancer in women is not attributed to smoking." "Lung cancer is the leading cause of all cancer deaths for both men and women, accounting for 30% of all cancer deaths." I don't really know what the point of this post was...to vent, maybe? To ask for your prayers? Probably. I just continue to pray that it's gone and that we will never see it again.

Zooey is 9 months old today!

How fast nine months goes! In 9 months, I went from this:

(14 weeks pregnant)

to this:



and got this sweet girl:


who now, 9 months later, looks like this:

::"Memories" plays softly in the background::
:)

Pretty amazing at how time flies.

Zooey's new skills include:

pulling herself to standing

fine-tuning her pincer grasp and becoming a pro at finger foods

I don't know if this is really a skill...but she throws herself forward like she wants to crawl then squirms around on her tummy before getting real irritated and rolling over. If it's not a new skill, it's still pretty cute! She also hoists herself over our legs on her tummy.

says "boo" when she sees her books; "ba" when she sees or is playing with a ball; "mama" when she gets really upset - and looks right at me and reaches

Zooey LOVES:

books

standing, holding onto our fingers

baths in the big tub

yogurt melts

cheese

independent playtime

grabbing necklaces

our new dog Tiny

tickles

a big red bouncy ball

animals

Zooey hates:

diaper changes

...not much else. She's pretty easygoing.

Time with Zooey is so sweet. Sometimes I think about how, when you're going through something really hard, that time seems to drag on forever. It's awful. You feel like you'll never pull through it. But when you're going through something wonderful, like motherhood, like enjoying my baby's short, sweet, amazing babyhood, time flies by at a warp speed and you try with all you can to hold onto it. Tonight, I walked into the nursery to take a quick peek at Zooey, fast asleep, before I turned in. I had to catch my breath at how big she is! She was, only nine short months ago, this little tiny peanut in the very middle of her crib, and now her arms stretch and she touches one of the sides. She is so tall in pictures, and when she was propped up next to another baby her age at the park, I was shocked that she was actually taller. It was as if some weird thing in my head wasn't allowing me to see her as that big. :) I peered at her across the room at a party, and I noticed, with pride welling up inside me, her beautiful smile, her happy personality. She's growing into such a little cutie, and it is my privilege to be her mom. Every day brings something new (to both of us!), every day I am humbled, every day I love her more and am astonished at the blessing God has bestowed on us in her. I am so excited to see what the next months hold - crawling, walking, running, talking, playing new games, reading, learning...so much to look forward to.

Did the tri and reached my goal

Last weekend I completed the triathlon. It seems all that freaking out and pre-race neurosis was for nothing, because I beat my overall time (for this race) by 6 minutes! My second goal was to hit my pre-pregnancy goal by race day and I am now under that weight by almost five pounds. It was a lot of fun, and I was reminded of how empowered I feel once I cross the finish line. It's always good to have a fitness goal and acheive it. Doing triathlons remind me that I am strong, and this year I also thought a lot about how I want Zooey to grow up in a healthy, fit household. It was good, too, for me to have something to focus on other than mommyhood. :)

Freeze!

I have to wonder if all mommies have moments where they wish they could stop the clock, scoop their children into an embrace and just hold them there. The last eight and a half months have gone by faster than any other period of time in my life. I look at Zooey and I want to freeze everything about her right now; I don't want to ever forget it. And yet, I know that someday my job as mommy will be as complete as it can be, and she will be grown leaving these brief moments as memories. And I know that every stage will bring more fun, memorable moments along with it. I want to remember...

...the way she smiles and wiggles her whole body in joy when I go in to get her up from sleep
...the way she practically jumps out of my arms to get to Daddy when he gets home
...her fast, excited breathing when she's happy and can barely contain herself
...the way she practices making different sounds in the backseat while we're driving somewhere
...the way she furrows her brow in concentration when she's reaching for her finger foods, or when she falls backwards as if to say "what just happened?"
...how she daintily toys with my necklace then squeals and tries to put it in her mouth
...the way she snuggles on my lap as I read to her
...the weight of her in my arms as she stares outside when she wakes up

There's so much more. I replay these moments in my mind each day before I go to sleep - the sweet blessing she is and how much fun we have together as a family. It is all just so sweet...it leaves me without words.

An adorable giveaway

The Chronicles of a Babywise Mom blog is doing another amazing, cute giveaway. I am hoping to win and crossing my fingers that I do. The stuff is just too cute! Check it out: http://www.babywisemom.com/2010/06/product-review-boutique-patterns.html

Zooey is 8 months old today!

I cannot believe that we have but four months until Zooey is a year old. Last year at this time, I was 22 weeks pregnant. Halfway there, looking forward to a week off from work for our last kids-free vacation for a very long time. I remember looking forward to that trip, the time I would get with Ryan alone and wondering how our future trips would be. I've been on two short trips with Zooey, one alone and one with Ryan and his family. There were some areas where it was tougher, but she was also such a blessing; she enhanced the trips. Don't get me wrong, I know Ryan & I will take some much cherished alone trips away from our kids, but I think my perspective is just a little different. I now see that it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be, and I enjoy her so much that I want to spend every minute I can with her. :)

So - Zooey is 8 months old. She weighs about 16 lbs., 6 oz.; I don't know how long she is, because our next check up is next month.

Zooey LOVES:

"where's Zooey?" and "peek-a-boo"

independent playtime

bathtime in the big tub

pulling toys out of a basket and examining each one

books

Daddy. He's like a rockstar in our home.

her jumparoo

her tiny doll that says "I love you"

her bunny that goes with us whenever we go bye-bye

her "Raffy" the giraffe

having her tummy and chin tickled

going for walks and actually stays awake and talks now

when we open the blinds

Zooey dislikes:

being away from Mommy - even in the same room (separation anxiety has started)

strangers

having her arms touched in bathtime, getting lotion on them or getting dressed

waiting to eat

Zooey now:

rubs her hair when she's sleepy or self-soothing - it's cute!

eats some finger foods (more for practice at this point)

stays up about 2 hours at a time, give or take a few minutes

...and as of last week, she sits independently!

The Leap of Categories

My feelings toward leaps are twofold. First, I love that my daughter is learning new skills and that her brain is growing. On the flip side, being the "Type A" that I am ::read: control freak:: I hate what these leaps do to our daily routine. I also don't like the fact that these leaps are seemingly scary and confusing to my baby, who definitely shows it with much fussing instead of being her happy self.

I am obsessed with getting enough love sleep. If I don't get enough sleep, I like to whine to everyone who is around me will take a nap. I am SO happy we have a baby who sleeps 12 hours at night. SO happy! We worked very hard with Baby Wise from Day 1, just like the book talks about, to get her to sleep through the night. That was, in fact, our main goal for picking Baby Wise as a parenting book at first. We now feel that the –Wise books have a lot of "wise" information in them for rearing a tot and plan to read some more of them. Anyway, my point is that I'm glad we worked hard, and I'm glad it worked.

When Zooey goes through a leap, sleep is the last thing she wants to do. Seriously. That and eat. This time, the leap seems to be coinciding with a growth spurt, so the eating thing isn't an issue, but she's been waking up between 5:00-6:00 in the morning and not sleeping well for her naps. At first I thought it was because she had a cold, but it was a short cold that's almost gone, and the early waking is still happening. Throw the fact that she's learned to sit up independently ::Hooray!!:: and we have a completely messed up routine.

So, once again, we're employing CIO. Once again, I must change my perspective to being happy that Zooey's learning a new skill and waiting for about 2 weeks for her to get back to normal. Vent over. This leap is actually kind of exciting! It's called the Leap of Categories. Around week 37, babies begin to comprehend that everything has a category and practicing new skills. This applies to everything they learn about, for example, a spotted horse and a brown horse are both horses or Moto and Snowball are both cats or (most excitingly) Zooey, Mommy and Daddy are all people. The book states that some scientists believe this is the age where real intelligence begins. The world of categories helps baby interact on a new level with the people around her. I'm extra excited that she's sitting now, because good toys for this wonder week are blocks of different shapes and sizes, picture books, stacking toys and toys/household items that are in the same category. We have some of these, and I've been waiting to use them until she could hold herself up and play with it in front of her. It's a lot of fun to see her growing into the little person she will become.

I think it will be interesting when I have another child to look back on these wonder weeks and see if I feel the same way with the next one or if some of the stress will be gone, because I will have two kids to focus on. Time will tell…

Here's a chart of the leaps. I found it on the Wonder Weeks website. I'm not too sure about that super freaky picture in the bottom righthand corner, but nothing I can do about that. http://www.thewonderweeks.com/images/stories/Book/WW_info_chart.pdf