19 weeks (and 4 days) picture

How far along? 19 weeks, 4 days
Total weight gain/loss: +2 lbs. last update
Maternity clothes: Yes
Stretch marks? Nope
Sleep: Cherishing it – it’s been good
Best moment this week: continues to be feeling movement
Movement: every day! lots of it on Friday!
Food cravings: ice cream, salad
Gender: ?? I’m done guessing at this point, but still kinda’ think boy
Labor signs: none
Belly button in or out? in
What I miss: hmmm…nothing really, this week
What I am looking forward to: THE BIG ULTRASOUND AND FINDING OUT THE GENDER ON WEDNESDAY!!
Weekly Wisdom: If you’re planning on staying home after the baby’s born, you just have to look at it like there’s no other option and plan for that. God will work it out if it’s His will and change your heart if it’s not.
Milestones: The big switch to maternity pants.

I can't believe I will be 20 weeks on Wednesday - halfway there! It is crazy to think how fast the gime has gone and that our little one will be here in 4 1/2 months!

Ambivalence

The last few days have been a mix of emotions. It’s kind of hard to put into words. I feel the baby move inside me, and I become so excited; I can’t wait to meet him/her. I can’t wait until Ryan can feel the baby’s movement! I can’t wait to find out if our little one is a little girl or a little boy. I think about Ryan as a daddy, about what a good job he’s going to do. I remember that Ryan & I will just have these short, precious months before the baby’s born where it’s just him and me, and I feel a little sad. Actually, that is probably the thing I feel most ambivalent about: it’s not going to be just me and Ryan anymore. No more week long trips for at least a couple of years, maybe longer depending on when we have another child. No more undisturbed evenings together every night. No more lazy Sunday mornings of sleeping in and movie afternoons. I realize we will still have time to connect, but I am also not naïve enough to think it will ever be the same; never again will it be quite as much time as we have together now (well at least for the next 20 years or so…). I’m also wise enough to know that the time with our children will be one of the best gifts ever bestowed upon us by the Lord, one of the sweetest things we will ever experience. I think about holding the baby, caring for it but I also remember how hard that task is going to be, and I feel a little scared. I wonder how we’re going to do everything financially…and if I’ll really be able to stay home like my dream has always been. I love being pregnant but know the time is short in the grand scheme of my baby’s life, so I hold onto these sweet months knowing I’ll only get to experience this maybe twice in my life. I think about how the care my grandma needs is going to increase within the next months or year or so, and I wonder how I’ll be able to handle caring for her and for a child. I look at experienced moms with their babies or their little kids and I marvel at how they just know what to do, what the child needs, how to provide for them, and I wonder if I’ll be able to do all those things.

These have been the things I’ve been mulling over in my mind and in my heart recently, just as I or anyone else tends to do in the midst of a great change. I also know – I just know – God will enable us for this task and the future, and it will be awesome.

Thinkin' boy again

Ok, I'm leaning towards a boy again. I've kind of thought it all along, with a couple days of thinking girl, but obviously it doesn't mean much until we actually get the big ultrasound in EXACTLY TWO WEEKS! I'm so excited to find out what our little sweet potato is. That's how big baby is today at 18 weeks. My mom kind of thinks I am going to have a hyper-Amber-like child, because this baby is like a little acrobat in there. :)

My Calendar Today

“You’re an original and God planned for you even before you were born. He knows all about you and He has so many precious thoughts about you, you can’t even number them. ‘You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in Your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God! They are innumerable! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! – Ps. 139:16-18.’”

This touches my heart in two ways: one to know that my God cares so much about me, that He thinks precious thoughts about me. Two, that He cares about our baby in this same way. To know that His thoughts are innumerable and outnumber the grains of sand is truly amazing! I can only imagine how many positive thoughts I have had and will have throughout my child’s life, but to know that this child has been dedicated to God and is truly His child gives me such peace. Even now in my womb, I can trust my Creator’s hand that is holding him/her. God knows and even sees every little flutter that I feel, every little cell that is formed, every little beat of the baby’s heart. He loves and cares so much more for this baby than Ryan or I ever could, and that is such a comfort to me.

God, I pray that you would call our child to You as s/he grows. I want our baby to know You, your Word and your ways. Help Ryan and I to train him/her up right in the Bible and in the truth, and when You call them to the truth, I pray that You would place a burning desire in their heart to answer you and run to You. Enable us to teach him/her that with You all things are possible, that You are trustworthy, unchanging and our true life source. Thank You for caring so much for us, as finite as we are, as imperfect as we are. Thank You for your thoughts, Your guidance and the Love you sent for us. Amen.

Crazy Dreams & Increased Movement

OK. Last night, not only was I jolted from my sleep by my dear husband at 12:00 (I went to bed at 9:45) when he finished his movie and noisily went to the bathroom and turned on the light...then returned to bed flashing his palm pilot game in my face like a police officer directing traffic, but I then woke up to pee a couple of times. Finally an encore awakening at around 3:00 with my baby breastfeeding - and telling me that I was doing a bad job. Apparently, in the dream, I had "too much milk" and needed to pump. 1: a baby cannot speak. 2: is that even logical?? These dreams are so weird! Two nights ago, I dreamed we (I can't really remember who was with me) were repelling off the roof at work to escape from some criminal robbers.

In the shower this morning, my usual time to pray :), I prayed for increased movement. I just love to feel the little baby move! Today, after breakfast, snack, lunch & evening snack, the little babe was dancing around in there, quite happy to be fed. God is so good, and I just love to feel that movement!

Well, tonight is my late night, and now that I am cooled down, I'm going to go to bed.

Got the crib

I went to Target today with my grandma and my mom and picked up our crib. Yay! I know it's early, but I'm starting to plan the nursery now. That way we'll have a lot of it ready to go and won't have to stress so much down the line. Here's a link to the crib:

http://www.target.com/Delta-Childrens-Products-Changer-Cider/dp/B001P1Y6FS/181-8263535-8745216?ie=UTF8&node=13298321&frombrowse=1&pricerange=&index=tgt-mf-mv&field-browse=13298321&rank=pmrank&rh=&page=2

I tried to post a picture, but it didn't work. We love this crib, because it comes with the changing table attached. The crib turns into a twin or full bed, and the changing table becomes an end table.

17 week update

How far along? 17 weeks, 3 days
Total weight gain/loss: Placenta brain causes me to forget…Ok; up .90 lbs. from last week, up 10 lbs. overall.
Maternity clothes: Casual pants & shirts. I can still do the bella band with my work pants.
Stretch marks? Nope.
Sleep: Has been very good this week.
Best moment this week: Feeling Baby move more and knowing Baby can hear others, like Ryan.
Movement: Yes, at least a couple of times a day.
Food cravings: Pretty much crap food: cake, ice cream, candy…I did crave some veggies a couple times.
Gender: Thinking girl this week.
Labor signs: Nope.
Belly button in or out? In.
What I miss: Running.
What I am looking forward to: The big ultrasound in 2 and a half weeks!!
Weekly Wisdom: Relish sleep while you can, because in five months you will be sleep deprived beyond your wildest imagination.
Milestones: Baby can hear outside noises this week.

My pictures are getting pretty boring...I need to find a new place to take them.