Weaned.

Tennyson is weaned.
My last baby is weaned.
I will not breastfeed again.

I tried to wean him several months ago when I got really ill and had to be on a lot of different meds, but even after eight-ish days, he was asking (not very politely!) for "boobie." I started him back up when I am pretty sure I was getting mastitis in both breasts, and he wouldn't drop the issue during an Imax movie at the museum.

It was such a blessing to have nursed him as long as I did (23.5 months). I had a very hard time in the beginning with Zooey, and if you remember, she weaned very suddenly all by herself. Before I even became pregnant with Tennyson I prayed that he would pick up nursing easily, that he would nurse for at least a year and that God would prepare us both for the time he would be done. God answered my prayer, and as He always does, answered in abundance. I am always touched at how much He loves me and cares about the little details of my life.

He last nursed January 1 before bed, and he told me they were "empty." The next night I reminded him they were empty, and while he was a little upset, he let it go easily. He didn't really ask after that. I had a huge sense of peace (unlike a couple months before), and in my heart, I just knew it was time. God is so good.

So, the chapter in my life of babies and breastmilk is closed, but the ending isn't something I would change or have any other way. <3 p="">

Less than an hour old

12/9/15, almost 23 months

Four years.
1460 days.
How is that even possible?
So much joy in four years...my babies are getting SO big! Zooey is talking so much and so well. Tennyson, well, you'd really love him. And Gideon! Oh, my! They are such a handful...just the kind of wild children you always loved. Just the kind you'd enjoy for a bit then happily hand back but be willing to take them on again later.
So many changes. So much stress and sadness. I'm so glad you don't have to see it or experience it. I think a lot of it would break your heart. I have gone a long time without almost calling you...probably about a year. That is, until the last 7 months or so. I've almost picked up that phone many times. Sometimes a girl just needs her mom. Lots of times lately.
I miss your voice. I miss your smile. I miss your prayers. I miss your empathy and concern, your comfort and deep understanding. I miss your wisdom. I miss my MOM.

Our Homeschool Journey Begins!

We have some big news in our house! Those of you who have spent any time around me at all since December-ish already knew this, but we are going to homeschool Zooey next year. There are a myriad of reasons we've decided this is best - godly education, freedom, more time at home with her, time for her to grow and develop a little more in regards to her speech and SPD - and I am getting so excited! And nervous! Then excited! Then...well, you get the picture. God really confirmed that this was what I was to do through my prayer time, my Bible study and the BSF notes back at the end of December/early January. He continues to confirm it to, and in fact, even today He sent me another confirmation in the form of Zooey's principal at school. He is so good! When I start to get nervous, I've been praying, and He gives me peace, and He usually sends me a confirmation of some sort to show me I'm doing the right thing.

I know there are a million homeschool blogs out there, and I'm not wanting my blog to be that, but as it always has been, I want it to be a memory of all of our journeys, as well as a journal of sorts for myself. This is such a HUGE change for us, and I need to be able to put my thoughts somewhere permanently. It's so exciting to go back later on and see the ways God took a little seed of change in our lives and sprouted it into something wonderful.

I've had homeschooling on the brain lately, especially since school is going to end in about four weeks. I've decided to do year-round school, so that in times of illness, stress, vacation, exhausting days, we have a little freedom during the typical school year to take a break if we need it. I'm probably going to take a couple of weeks off completely from activities, then we'll start up. I purchased all our curriculum and supplies the last two days, and I even got some old stuff organized for Tennyson, so he will have something to do when we're doing school. I've chosen Heart of Dakota Little Hearts for His Glory for our Kindergarten curriculum. I'm using the Reading Made Easy option for reading. I am purchasing the handwriting curriculum separate from Handwriting Without Tears, which is what she did this year at school. Her teacher actually recommended some different manipulatives for the Kinder program, because they include the lower-case letters. I actually found it on Amazon in a package that also includes number-building. It's called Letter Construction from Learning Resources.

I know this is going to be a really big challenge for me, and probably for Zooey too, and I anticipate God's (painful) growth of my heart and character. I tend to be super type A when I'm teaching Zooey, but she's not the kind of kid you can do that with. I am definitely going to have to learn to let go of A LOT! She'll need lots of breaks (and I'm sure I will, too!). I know we're really going to need to incorporate her OT strategies and stick to a good routine for her to thrive. I'm going to need to let go of my own striving toward perfectionism to allow her to make mistakes and grow. And, as her principal pointed out today, I'm going to need to let her learn at her own pace, not compare and not freak out if/WHEN she's not doing "X" that someone else her age is doing. She also said something that anyone who knows Zooey knows to be true - "I have a feeling that Zooey will learn it when she's ready to learn it." Haha! Funny thing is that I'm the same way! I am praying God will help me embrace all the ways she's similar to me and use my knowledge of those similarities to our advantage instead of getting so frustrated about it.

God also bolstered my enthusiasm this week through a wonderful BSF home training lesson about seeing the positive traits in our children. It was called "Your Child's Valuable Traits," and you can read it here. It was seriously so great! Anyway, I feel called by God to cultivate valuable character traits and most of all a love for God, and in our case I feel called to do this partly in the form of homeschool.

Butternut Squash Lasagna

This is one of my favorite things to eat! You save on some of the carbs with the butternut squash instead of lasagna noodles, and if you wanted to make this paleo, you could add some layers of other veggies, like zuchinni, cauliflower and broccoli. We have been eating pretty low carb, but we still eat cheese and dairy. The kids, even Zooey, LOVE this recipe! I love this recipe so much that I kind of hoard the leftovers for myself, so I can enjoy it for a couple days after I make it. :)

 

Ingredients:
Coconut oil spray
1/2 butternut squash, sliced thin (I used my veggie spiralizer to save time)
1 medium onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 carrots, finely chopped
1/2 red bell pepper, finely chopped
3 cups baby spinach, chopped
1 lb. lean ground turkey
salt and pepper
1 container vodka sauce (I like the Classico brand)
1 egg, beaten
small container ricotta cheese
1 1/2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese (small bag)
1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese, divided in two

1. Preheat oven to 375.
2. Sautee onion, garlic, carrots, bell pepper, baby spinach over medium heat until carrots are crisp tender.
3. Remove veggies from pan and set aside. Brown turkey; season with salt and pepper, if desired.
4. Meanwhile, combine beaten egg, ricotta cheese, and 1/8 c. parmesan cheese.
5. Once meat is browned, add veggies back in and stir to combine. Stir in sauce, then simmer.
6. Place a small layer of meat mixture on bottom of pan, then layer ingredients in pan: butternut squash slices, cheese mixture, meat mixture, half mozzarella. Repeat.
7. Baked covered for 45 minutes. Remove cover, and continue to bake 15 minutes.
8. Remove from oven, and let stand 10 minutes before serving. Enjoy!

Zooey ~ Fall 2014

Oh, my! I am looking back at some of the funny things Zooey said over the last few months, and it's cracking me up. Here are a few:

One day in September we were leaving Albertsons, when Zooey spotted a giant witch. She started yelling, "Go away, witches! I don't like you witches!" Only...she put a "b" on the front of the word, and there were two little old ladies behind me giving me the stink eye. I started modeling the correct word very loudly for her, and they worked on the "w" sound in speech that month.

"I'm allergic to babies, Mommy."

She said she wants to be a teacher at the gym and teach kids to do tabata.

Z: "I am five. How old are you?"
Me: "33"
Z: "How old is Great Grandma?"
Me: "85"
Z: "Oh my goodness!"

Sarah: "What is Tennyson going to be when he grows up?"
Z: "Tennyson and Gideon are going to be doctors, and I'm going to teach the babies at BSF.

And some sweet things she said:

In the car one day, "Mommy, the trees are changing colors. God is our God. God is our daddy. I love Jesus!"

Sarah was telling her in-laws to pray for a sweet little girl named Emily. Sarah told Zooey that God is able to work miracles. Zooey replied, "Yes, our God is Almighty."

Zooey is just getting so big that I can't even believe it! She is five. FIVE, you guys. How did that happen? She loves to do arts and crafts, her favorite thing in school is PE, she still loves wearing dresses, and she likes to workout with me. She is such a friendly girl, and she loves to go up to kids and tell them her name and ask their name. She is super empathetic and sweet. I teach her class at church this year, and whenever there's a child crying, she almost instantly goes over to the child and either offers words of comfort or just sits near them. She is making huge strides at speech therapy. She is really starting to show an interest in reading. She loves Jesus and her favorite weekly activities are church and BSF. She is not super snuggly, because she's so busy, but when she does slow down, she likes to sit right next to you and just be with you. She is funny, creative, sassy sometimes, loving, forgiving, protective and prayerful. It is so fun getting to know this sweet girl.

So excited for balloons!

Cat for Harvest Fest at school and Halloween

Sarah caught the kids a worm

Oh my, little miss trouble

The teacher said she came up with this response with no prompting. Bless her heart!

Doing "Tabata"

Silly girl was so excited for bath she forgot to take her shirt off lol

Tennyson ~ 16 months

Better late than never, right? Tennyson is 16 months old! He is about 26.3 pounds, and I'm not sure how tall he is. Tennyson's become so, SO busy this last month. I feel like I look away for two seconds and he is on top of something new - kitchen table, kitchen chair, table in the living room, couch, computer chair - you name it, he's tried to climb it. He is a super ornery little boy, and I can tell he is going to give me a run for my money! He is going to be my stubborn (not that Zooey can't be stubborn) and strong-willed child for sure. He laughs - literally - in the face of danger, and he has already started throwing some pretty intense temper tantrums. He is also very sweet. He still loves to snuggle with me, and he will often times just climb on my lap in the living room and just "watch the room" with me for a good 15 minutes before he hops down to play again. He loves to give kisses and snuggles. He runs up to Zooey throughout the day, just to give her a hug.

Tennyson now:
- Is starting to run
- Has almost all his teeth - they've all popped through, and we're waiting on his upper molars and canines to come all the way out (painful week this week)
- Mimics most words and has about 35 words he uses consistently and without prompting (woohoo!)
- Does roomtime for independent play instead of IP in his crib
- Nods yes and shakes head no
- Folds his hands to pray
- Seems to be moving out of the separation anxiety phase a little bit. BSF and church mornings have gone a little more smoothly as of late

Tennyson loves:
- To scare his mother. Haha, just kidding. He loves to climb on things.
- trains, cars and anything that moves
- He's starting to enjoy being read to more, with me holding the book the whole time
- He's getting more interested in puzzles
- To do anything Zooey is doing
- Our cat
- Playing outside Zooey's school when I pick her up, chasing the big kids and exploring the rocks

Tennyson dislikes:
- Ah, we have reached the fun stage where he flips out when I pour water on his head during bath time
- Sharing. :)

Tennyson ~ 15 months

When I was doing all the "firsts" with Zooey, I honestly worried a bit about whether or not I'd be as excited to watch them with a second child. I have to say, I've been SO excited - just like I was with her - to watch my little man growing and changing and accomplishing all of his "firsts!" I am thankful that I don't completely.flip.out about every single illness/booboo/cry/separation anxiety episode like I did with Zooey, haha. That's pretty freeing!

Tennyson had his 15 month well check on Monday. He weighs a whopping 26 pounds and is 31 inches tall, and his head is 19cm. He is a big, sturdy boy! Ryan and I keep telling Zooey that she needs to be nice to Tennyson, because now he only weighs eight pounds less than her and is soon going to be able to tackle her and hold her down like she does to him!

Tennyson now:
- Is walking!! He started really trying on December 3rd.
- Loves to give hugs, kisses and snuggles. Ah, those wet, sloppy baby kisses - kinda' disgusting but they bring pure joy to our hearts!
- Climbs on everything he can. If Zooey's door is cracked, he manages to get in her room and climb on her bed. Once I found him about to climb on her dresser.
- Is talking so much! He's using more and more jargon, which is so cute. When he's nursing before bed, he often pops off to tell me a little "story." Sometimes he's serious, and other times he's giggling the whole time. I wonder what he's telling me about? :) Speaking of talking, his newest words include: "Baa" for sheep, "Vroom" for car," "cookie," and "bar" for his cereal bars.
- Can stack 2-3 blocks
- Colors with crayons (and also tries to eat them)

Tennyson likes:
- cars, balls, blocks
- books *see dislikes :) this kid....
- To do what Zooey does - coloring, playing doctor, fixing Mommy's hair, eating the same exact thing as her, playing outside the school in the rocks. You name it, if Zooey's doing it, he wants to do it. This includes not so positive traits like yelling, "NO!"
- The Christmas tree (what toddler doesn't find the Christmas tree delightful and tempting?!)
- pictures
- balloons
- rolling out of the trampoline onto the floor (I discourage this!)

Tennyson dislikes:
- Being read to, if it means he cannot have full control of the situation and hold the book. To him holding the book means closing it and opening it to the wrong page.
- When Mommy leaves him...yup, separation anxiety is back and in full force. Last week at BSF he cried for 20 minutes straight, because he could continue to see me and couldn't get to me. At church this week he cried for quite a bit, too. Fun times. :\

Still so snuggly

Silly happy scrunchy face

My daring little guy

nom nom

I don't think I mentioned his love for the tramp above, but he loves it

Big boy